Do you truly know
How it really feels
To look at you everyday
Knowing what I know
Looking ahead
What is the end goal
That you seek
I denied for to long
Pushed it down
Wanted to look away
To not hurt myself
Yet I need to
Hurt myself from the inside
Since you won't
I have to

So here I am
Wondering about you
Resisting myself
Telling myself not to do it
Do not text her
Make her miss you
But probably not
Then now
So you sit here
Tell me
You don't know
Yet I feel indifferent
As if you do know
You don't want to lead me
But you remain
Trapped in my head
Forcing my smile
I want to try
Take a step
Into a new world
As long as you're in it
Friendly or more
I just want to try it
With you
In fact
Do I leave your head
What about the first kiss
Or the next
The last?
What am I doing
The one thing I hate
Exposing myself to you
Yet again

In fear that I lose you completely
My mind tells me to let go
But I'm scared
If only you knew.
How would you react
How am I suppose to react
When I want to just look away
Yet everything is a mirror
Showing me some part of you
Like a nightmare
I don't want to forget
A dream that's enticing
Yet unreachable

I care to much to look away
You've made this happen
Your laugh
Your innocent looks
You truly don't understand
What really lies in my mind
I dread waiting for your texts
I regret my patience to wait
Yet I wait
And wait
Until I see you have responded
It drives me insane
How sane you make me
I shouldn't have you on my mind
Yet putting you out makes me ache
So I drive myself crazy
Because I know your eyes
Tames my insanity
We're suppose to be friends
My mind tells me not to ruin that
But I want to push the limit
Just because of how you make me feel
I hide it from you
Bury it deep down
I don't want you to truly know
How much I care

I'm about to do
What needs to be done
Stuck in my mind
Not trying to leave
You've taken up residence
Telling you how I feel is
What needs to be done
Although you've probably figured it out
You're smart enough.
It still
Needs to be done
You've unintentionally jumped into
    my life
I've exposed myself to you
You know my weaknesses
My flaws
The least I can do is
Expose myself
One
Final
Time
No matter how weird I feel
No matter how uncomfortable
Because truly
It's what needs
To be done