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Tala Jun 2020
Night after night
in echo-less jars my screams trapping
one after the other counting
on a shelf of shame storing

By the threads of realisations
Suffocating

Wondering
How did it go that far?

My screams trapping in jars
Scared the truth will come out

The truth of you
of my ignorance
of my wasted IQ scores
of how self-love in chapter number 6 was retracted
on how my own voice MUTED
My identity ERASED
For yours to be written as the main character of an abusive ****** mystery

The ****** of my pride
I witnessed

18 months
In your dungeon of lies trapped
Willingly...
Or Not

Nailed down by my own traumas
to a ground of your dismissiveness
nailed down under your feet
for your validation begging
in drought living
waiting for the mercy of the sporadic showers of love bombs

I didn't know I can be broken that many times
till I met you
Like a shapeshifter, 206 bones I broke
In the name of your entertainment

Consistently strained by the:
you’re not good enough
consciously thinking you'll change
unconsciously thinking that's All I deserve

And that's what scientists call submission
Submission to your mental manipulative ways

In disgust I dwell
Ashamed for being a fool
Or Not

By my own wounded child
strapped to the bed sheets that consistently
warned me about you
how every time you gently kissed me goodbye
choosing to leave me doubting myself worth
wondering how can I ever be good enough for you to stay

Yet I called you back
Willingly
or Not

Remember how
in milk and honey each insult you dipped
How in 50 roses your derogatory pet names you carefully hid

Your chains you weld tighter
After each breakup

Unconsciously it's whatever you want
it's every yes where it was supposed to be no
in pain you left me for days
only to come back for more

In pain I lived willingly
Or Not

My only crime that I was Desperate to be Loved
"Stat: On average, a woman will leave an abusive relationship seven times before she leaves for good"
Tala Feb 2018
You desire the Purity of lakes 
the Lightness of clouds 

She's the naked truth
the war soldiers give up on
she is the Heaviness of black clouds
the Rain inside

You recklessly dance on her hips
step after step
where ships once were wrecked

Mind your dancing steps
mind the landmines
some might Viciously explode
some into rainbows never Explained
Tala Dec 2017
He is the sinner, the lover, the truth I knew
He is the right and wrong combined
I want to write till the ink in my pen dries
Drown in his arms... left abandoned without saving
Drown in safety, peace, in forbidden dreams.

Say my name 
Wipe my tears 
kiss my thoughts 
Leave me hanging wishing for more 

Leave me to drown
Disapear between yours arms
Between the blurred lines
Get lost in vagueness never defined
Tala Dec 2017
Should I Break the silence into pieces?
shorten the Distance?
Three little words
would they Fill the void?
would my heart Beat again?

Numb 
Vacant 
Silent

Can you Hear the whispers?
the waves on Mars
the sun Kissing the sky 
can you Hear the clouds missing the rain?

Listen!
Three little words 
breaking my Silence into pieces 


Miss 
You
Tala Dec 2017
You instigate the rattlesnake
the storm within, under the bones

You feed on my fears then
under the rain your mouth you open
your thirst you quench

You smile when I cry. think about that
the guilt you hug away
in the pieces of my broken spirit, you search for her

I am not her
I am not her

Keep your scars at bay
it's time to love & headway
Tala Dec 2017
Do you believe in signs 
in the colours I breathe
can you read my lips
see the rainbows around my hips

Take a step, hold my hand
hear the braided notes in the air
it's time to dance, to the melody of joy
above the clouds, dangling from the stars 
Sing out loud 
Hold my hand 
Can you see the sun 
Can you see the moon
The love, the passion coloured in maroon

Do you believe in signs 
in the colours I breath 
can you read my lips
Tala Dec 2017
It disappears, gone 
into particles it dissolves 
lighter, flowing

To suddenly return 
into the rotten cracks of her soul 
HEAVIER yet again 
into the cracks
it dissolves with the darkness it unites

Let it slide, let it slide 
till the next season, let it slide 
to the bottom 
It Hits and Hides
secretly whispers into her mind
counting the days till it's "cherry blossom" time
Seasonal Depression
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