I see you in your four walls
why aren't they caving in the way mine always do
why aren't you desperately forcing them up, making your arms black and blue
I see you in your warm halls
your favourite people too
you look comfortable
the people also do
your warm halls are painted an agonising shade of violet,
they look just like my bruises
the walls are electric with the faces of ecstasy
the love and compassion
the way people are meant to be
who are those people?
what do they do?
do you make them breakfast in bed? do they do the same for you?
your walls are a scrapbook
they are a symphony
of the good times

I want my walls to look like yours

~ T.T

I want to give you the whole world
even if that doesn't make sense to you, it makes sense to me but probably will never, ever make sense to you
I want you to have the sun, the moon and the spring bloom
I want you to love.. but I want you to sigh and I want you to stop and I want you to cry
I want you to know just what you've done
when you turn your back and you run
from me and from us and you go back to them
the one you call a perfect ten
the one with the electric eyes and cut throat hair
the one that forces you forget air
she isn't me and I will never will be she
the one with the electric eyes and cut throat hair
those electric eyes don't care
those electric eyes see your face but not your dreams
they see your beauty, but fail to look past beyond the seams
they see your eyes, your perfectly perfect, dreamboat eyes but they never sail away with you just like I do
you patronise with your mind
and your lies
and your love
and your despise
you are in control of me and please, keep the wheel
because I know you're being unfair but I will never seize to feel
the thud in my chest and the thrill in my veins even when you cause me the most violent pain
I want to give you everything
but everything is not what I've got
I've got my heart, with which you call the shots

~ T.T

we were the best
those warm nights,
my head on your chest,
your heartbeat so melodic,
your every move so euphoric,
I could hear the chords of your heartstrings serenading me
the song of your love, crashing against your rib cage like the waves in the sea

we were so real
so new
so innocent
the real deal
that melodic heartbeat was really the saddest song
we believed we were in heaven the whole night long
but baby, we were so wrong

I was so deceived
your love what was i thought I had received
you've made me think that that song was fake
you lied to me
you promised you would never take
my trust, my love and crush it under your foot
your foot which gifted me a kick to my gut,

I am so black and blue
I don't want to love anyone as much as I loved you
you tore me apart, kiss by meaningless kiss
love is a tedious game of hit and miss
my eyes are sealed and my lip drips burgundy
the same tone of burgundy I wanted to paint the walls of our home, now a home of uncertainty.

that home seems to be me
I am burgundy uncertainty.

~ T.T

this city breathes.
she dances on the doorstep,
she whispers in your ear,
this city breathes.
this city is her own oyster of fortune, misfortune.
this city stops,
she abandons the light,
she lies with the night,
this city sleeps.
she is a secret that is not yours to keep,
she is a violet bruise of ecstasy,
she is a smiling face of melancholy.
this city breathes.
don't get too close, please

~T.T

Please, just hold me, don't move, don't stir, it's ok my love it's alright to stay there
your wrists and the ropes and the thud under my thumb is all it takes to make me feel less numb
your arms your ankles, intertwined with mine, your mind complex but oh so divine
Please, just hold me, don't move, don't stir, it's ok my love it's alright to stay there
fingertips as cold as ice and whispers, the type you long for at night
take your time, take a breath, take those words and show them their death
be calm, my dear, stay there stay here inhale my love, force your mind to clear
cherish those ropes, honey, never break them in two for you are worth more than the moon, than a sky of blue
the thud under my thumb, I hope will remain for you are the bright in my mind and the love in my veins
Please, just hold me, don't move, don't stir it's ok my love, it's alright to stay there.

~ T.T

heartbreak comes naturally for some, Groundhog Day of the heart.
sometimes I wish that I could lose feeling,
I wish I could be ignorant.
hate is always a strong word
but dislike is far too tame,
for you are a parasitic pendulum
in the grandfather clock of my forehead,
you swing back and forth hitting the walls of my skull like a migraine and no amount of painkillers can dull your presence,
you are the excruciating epitome of an extinct euphoria
and I tell myself that things are getting better
but I realize you wear a necklace of bullets,
each one with a motive to pierce my elation and engulf itself in my pity.
the bullets stay close to your heart, just as I wish I could.

~ T.T