Out I stepped,
The grass filling the spaces beneath my toes
As the fresh scents of nature mingled beneath my nose.

The wind blew steady and the flowers swayed in the breeze,
And as I stood beneath the shade of the trees, a lone flower did blow to my feet.

A Daffodil.
It was a little odd though,
As the garden did not show its kind.
Yet here it was, at my feet, and now on my mind.

I glanced around and off to the side, stood a plant on a table,
Embraced beneath the sunlight.

It took me a while, but soon the plant was in the ground.
Daffodils bobbing in the wind,
The flower that only knows 'begin'.

Lately I dwell on the idea of holding hands.
An act so simple yet so human in it's nature.
An act of love.

When palms interlock,
Two become one.
We abandon the use of an appendage
For the idea of closeness.

Therein lies our humanity,
Seen in such a simple act.
We are always willing to give for love.

I'm scratching over pages,
The words just won't come out.
I'm running out of patience,
And my fear's paired with my doubt.
I'm losing track of time,
But I still know that it's been too long.

When was the last time, I tried to write a love song?
When was the last time, I tried and it all went wrong?
I'm losing my grip on my heart,
My lonely heart,
It's tearing me apart.

I don't remember how it felt last time,
Just that you felt like mine,
And then it all went wrong.
I guess i waited too long,
Didn't take my chance,
But oh, how I wished to see the stars with you,
And hoped that we could dance.
I could see forever,
But you couldn't see me,
And now I'm out here,
Writing songs while feeling lonely.

So now I try to hold on,
To the glimpse I knew,
I remember all the trauma that followed,
But I was always happy...
With you.

I push it back as it rears it's head.
Each moment it tries to consume more and more,
Taking chances as it sees me slipping.

I try, I try so much.
Keeping that voice at the back of my head where it's presence is muffled,
And yet it finds it's way out.
In a moment,
It takes me.

I concede to the beast that looms over my soul,
"Let's be friends."
I want to see the suffering of others,
See them burn in pain and watch with excitement.
I want to hurt people, but not physically.
Give them a thought and watch them tear themselves apart from inside,
Till their minds give in to insanity,
Till nothing but pain remains.

Now get back in the box.
Be silent.
And from the back of my head it gives a devilish smile,
"Not long now. Someday you won't want to put me back."

If there's a god,
I hope you hear me.
I'm accusing you,
Present your testimony.

You torture me,
Cut me then watch me bleed.
And all around,
You're rubbing salt in the wound.
I see what I don't want to,
Everyone else found what I was looking for,
And I'm still left with nothing in my hands.

I don't want to be patient,
They say good things to those who wait,
But I think you're a little bit late.
Oh god,
Why do you torture me?

Never could I have guessed the day I'd come to face your smile.
Never could I have guessed you'd run my heart so wild.

I never saw you coming,
Yet I'm so glad you came my way.
Oh what I'd have missed had I missed that day.

Life finds a way to throw a spanner in the works,
Sometimes it breaks your world,
And other times it breaks your view of the world.
I could never have expected the day my days became so much brighter.

I rarely get any peace.
There are some moments,
So brief in the grand scheme that they seem like nothing more than a dream.

I struggle to breath,
Always feeling kept beneath the voices in my head as they try to speak.
My head hurts as it weighs so heavy,
And as my balance falters,
I fall.

All I want is to keep that feeling that I know,
To take it everywhere I go.
I know peace,
Yet so rarely have I felt it.