Hurts too much to be hurt,
So I'll just be on my own.
Sorry mom,
Couldn't find a girl to bring home.

I wish I wasn't this scared,
Feeling like Fear has a blade to my throat.
Telling me I'll be hurt,
If I try to let it go.

Cold mornings no longer take me by surprise,
I don't wake expecting the brown in your eyes.
Coffee on my own,
No longer makes me feel alone.
They say it's better to have loved and lost,
I say it's safer when you're on your own.

There's a demon in my head,
I tell it the truth,
And listen to the lies it's said.
It says, that I can just drown in smoke.
It tells me, it'll help pull the words from my throat.

Now I'm drowning,
I've been left in this place.
I'm choking,
Sorrows leave me in this state.

I'd rather not see you in mourning,
So I say I'll get help in the morning,
But I know i won't.

I listen to my demons,
They numb my throat when I scream.
I listen to my demons,
They make sure I don't dream.
When I fall asleep sober,
All I see are nightmares,
And I wish it could over.

I'm struggling, trying to catch my breath.
Fill my lungs with smoke, but the burdens aren't lifted yet.
I still see the world, but it's all in grey,
Won't someone take me away.

What even is this?

Why do we hold it to such a standard?
Raised atop a pedestal,
A goal that not all are lucky enough to reach,
A prize that not all are able to claim.

Why must some spend life running around in search,
Chasing a concept yet baring no knowledge of its meaning?
Why do we search for this feeling that we have never known,
As if it were something last lost now found.

Somehow, I guess we just know.
Instinctively, we know.
Happiness lies at the end of a 4 letter word.

But love is stupid,
And I'm stupidly in love with you.

I don't think I can do it anymore...
Falling in love is a pain and a pleasure,
So many moments I treasure,
And then that one...
That shakes me to my core.

I don't know any better than a "no"...
I've lived my whole life at the end of that word.
All it ever took was 2 letters to break me apart,
2 letters to break my heart.

I don't know if I believe anymore...
In myself, in fate...
In love.

All I have is fear.
And all it does  is tell me
That it's easier to be alone
Than it is to reach for love,
And find the same 2 letter word.

"Folie à deux,"
I'll take it to mean,
"The madness of two."

With you I'll be crazy,
You make me let go of the fear.
I know we're not normal,
If only they could fathom the happiness of the insane.

I cherish every moment.
Every smile, every joke,
Every dumb tale or story we've ever told.
I'll let go of my mind,
But onto those moments I'll keep my hold,
And I promise I will never let go.

I don't want to miss a moment of insanity with you.
So I'll give you my heart,
And then we'll have two,
And till the end of our days we'll have
Folie à deux.

I'll tell you why i like being at home.

It's the silence.
Not a sound can be heard.
No footsteps in the hallway,
Or cars driving by.

It's the darkness.
The curtains are just  thicker and darker,
And light ceases to pass through.
Not even light slips beneath the door.

It's the bliss.
When I look up as I lay in bed,
All I see is the darkness.
And in the darkness can be whatever I want it to be.
I dream while awake...
Because when I close my eyes all I see are nightmares.

You were as simple a man as you needed to be.
You'd sit us by the bedside,
And read us a story.

I remember the way you joked,
Even about your darkening heart.
You never wasted a day,
Not till the day of your depart.

I knew how you wanted to go,
Peacefully with the breeze
That carried along your soul.
I knew that you never wanted us to cry,
The jolly old man,
That would never want to bring a tear to an eye.

You were a king in your own right,
The humble man on a throne.
True kings aren't buried in coffins of gold,
Their buried in our hearts,minds... and souls.