****, I'm listening to bright eyes again
I want to lay on crumbling church steps
with yr big white t shirt hanging loosely on my shoulders &
reaching my knees.
There are two bruises on my knees
Almost identical,
I think it means something,
but I'm not completely sure what that is
yet.
there are people walking on
the empty streets: looking -
I do the same.
I think we're looking for meaning, or something close to that.
I fly to Portland, I think I might find it there.
on the way I look at the Rocky Mountains,
they seem to hold infinity .
And I can see the curves of the roads,
And the rivers,
it reminds me how everything is connected somehow.
i wonder what the roads will lead me to.
Quinn and Madison said they are moving to the clouds
to escape from the world.
I look for them in the sky,
I don't see them, but I know they are up there,
somewhere.
my roads do not lead to clouds any time soon.
I don't find it fair.
but I'm afraid of heights anyways.
I'll conquer my fear one day,
just not today.
everybody I know seems like they want to get out.
whether it's to Oregon or the clouds,
they know it's better somewhere.
the people who are content with staying scare me the most.
they think this is the best
they will ever get.
they spend their weekends in basements, doing the same **** they did last week.
that's not for me.
I don't know where my road will go,
or where I will be twenty years from now,
but it does not end here.
There is a whole world outside of Fishers, Indiana.
this town is not how real life works.
there are dreams I've slept through
and forgotten-
but leaving is a reoccurrence.
The air in Oregon smells like pine trees
and everybody I meet
take effort to get to know me.

i am the sky,
cold and gray.
you looked the way i felt
you were running from the rain
yr eyes held hell
my tears can’t put yr fire out
that’s okay
you don’t want that anyway.

i’ll be okay
i dont’want to die
i just can’t listen to your music
without making myself cry
there’s nothing left to love
i’ll watch all decay
that’s okay,
it was toxic anyway.

There’s a boy who dances with me
in the rain
it hits my skin,
i am cold and gray.
my father stole a gun
tried to put it through his brain
although it’s not okay
you reminded me of him anyway.

i am the sky
all black and blue
thinking about the time i spent falling out of love with you
it came slow
i miss being friends
I don't know why I'm wasting my time
The feelings dead

i see you with her
and god she looks so soft
you said i was like that for you
and now i’m not
i remember when i could call you mine
we were with each other almost all the time
now don’t even speak
but that’s okay
i was never really yours anyway.


i am the sky,
cold and gray.
you looked the way i felt
always running from rain
I'll let it make me clean
I've always been pure
shouldn't have let myself be concerned
If you loved me or her
lets be honest-
you never really loved me anyway.

i am the sky
but no longer blue
realizing I'm happier without you
you can't reach my now
I see you on your toes
just take your time
the rain will heal you slow
it’ll make it easier for us both

i am the sky
now just gray
i no longer see you anymore,
no running from the rain
i am so clean
you are so pure
and i am so glad
that you're not with me anymore