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Summer Mar 2016
I keep seeing your name on billboards
in towns you have never been.
A magician touched my bones
and flowers grew out of my hands,
i get high,
i have new friends
things are different.
there are flowers in my hands again.
if you get close they will die.
I haven't been touched in so long.
i fear if i do,
my flowers will wilt,
i do not want that to happen again.
i no longer confine myself to lonely basements
in the suburban town I grew up in.
i explore different parts of my state,
love a city most in my town  will never venture to,
Those places hold a home,
one I thought I'd never find here
I hold a boys clammy hand
In fountain square
He is so excited about the world
Only a year younger than me
but so less experienced
I tell him he can find a home wherever he goes,
But do not search for it somebody else's body.
invite them to stay,
and if they like it well enough
They can settle there with you
and if they get tired of it.
remember it's your home.
when i say that
he just holds my hand tighter.
can you invite me to stay, he says.
stay in my home if you'd like,
I say,
but if the ghosts bother you,
you can leave whenever you choose.
I will not blame you ,
Sometimes they make it hard for me to sleep.
but we can hide from them for a while
In the tall buildings and the museums
Pick a record. We can spin it all night long.
don’t mind the ghost of the girl with the brown hair,
if you read her one of my poems she’ll go away,
when she comes back just read the lines i wrote about you
over and over again.
She wants me to settle in her body,
but i remember the advice i told you,
so i won’t.
we can start up my car instead,
and go to a random town and make it our home for a day.
we will be complete strangers to it both,
we will find the parts we love, and the parts we can do without-
but we return to our home.
he begins to know my home better.
like it’s his own
he knows where i keep my favorite books, where my paints are hidden, and my random folder of memories.
he reads the old poems, and sees himself in the past me.
my advice makes more sense now.
and he appreciates my words more.
i’m afraid he’ll make a home in me.
when our knees touch on the couch
we're both intoxicated with smiles
and the worry doesn't sit in our minds
we don't have to worry about the toxins when we're with eachother.
the ghosts are unseen.
It's easier with you.
your nose doesn't scrunch when I laugh,
you love more than my body,
and understand why I've read slaughterhouse five six times.
I start reading it you
before you go to bed,
six becomes seven.
I read more to you-
there are poems you don't understand
But you think they're beautiful anyways.
no matter how many metaphors i make about the sea
you don’t call them cliche.
i am not afraid to speak around you.
it all comes easy now.
i think it’s because we’re both home around each other,
building homes in places we’ve never been,
the dark haired ghost still lingers,
i told you even when i was in a place
i could call home,
i never felt that way around her,
you are not my home
i say
but
you make home a whole lot better to be in,
you are healthy,
you handle my ghosts well.
and i look at you,
laying on the couch
while a movie plays in the background,
still- there’s a home here,
and it does not involve me becoming your whole world
or vice versa.
it involves
two people,
who like being around each other,
no matter where they call home,
and being able to realize,
that it’s okay to leave sometimes when the ghosts won’t let you sleep.
and if i miss the movie you’re watching that is fine,
i can watch it later and then we can chat about it in the dining room.
with warm coffee, and cold feet.
this is home for now.
The sunlight pours in and hits our faces
it makes admitting it easier.
I hold your hand tight for the rest of the day.
you make home a more beautiful place to be.
  Mar 2016 Summer
Got Guanxi
You
Cannot
Take
Away
The
Rights
Of
Those
Who
Have
Nothing
Left
  Mar 2016 Summer
Ernest Hemingway
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.
Summer Mar 2016
seeing places you’ve been on t.v.
do not hold the same memories
ringing doorbells for people who are not there,
the ones with spiders in their hair.
the strange man’s lips are coming too close
you should have just stayed home.
your lips dissolve into foam
quietly disappearing
until theres nothing left to touch
quiet stillness, darkness not much
left of you or left of me.
your hands are reaching out
but you can’t see
what’s in front of you-
it is not me.
quiet stillness darkness you are not free
he is pushing you against the wall
eyes wide open
dare not to close them at all
baby, that is not how we do it here.
that is not how we do it here.
keep your eyes on me
and you won’t disappear
face lit by a dim light
writing poems to stay alive
or maybe to know a piece of you will stay.
even the nights the demons are away
and you are lying softly
alone
even the universe is still
and absent
rising and falling.
like the heart in your chest,
Do not let the parasites crawl into it
to shrink your heart until it is nothing
but flesh-
Better to keep quiet alone, in stillness and darkness-
it was easier to not move
when his hand rested on your head.
easier to be alone when you imagine yourself dead
there’s voices inside the walls
you’ve heard them all
before smooth and calming
but now they sound
violent and angry
you have had your passions written down and thrown away
thats why now you have no idea what to say
quiet stillness darkness
tranquil serene silence
dead flowers on the side of the road
blood coming out of your nose
death waits for you
like a hand on a clock
the voices are getting louder
can’t you see?
it’s time to cut yourself loose,
after all,
you said you wanted to be
free.
  Feb 2016 Summer
T. S. Eliot
S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
        A persona che mai tornasse al mondo
        Questa fiamma staria senza più scosse.
        Ma perciocchè giammai di questo fondo
        Non tornò vivo alcun, s’i'odo il vero,
        Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question…
Oh, do not ask, ‘What is it?’
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to ****** and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, ‘Do I dare?’ and, ‘Do I dare?’
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
(They will say: ‘How his hair is growing thin!’)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
(They will say: ‘But how his arms and legs are thin!’)
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
  So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the ****-ends of my days and ways?
  And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
  And should I then presume?
  And how should I begin?

     . . . . .

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? …

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

     . . . . .

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in
     upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: ‘I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all’—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
  Should say: ‘That is not what I meant at all;
  That is not it, at all.’

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail
     along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
  ‘That is not it at all,
  That is not what I meant, at all.’

     . . . . .

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
  Feb 2016 Summer
Emily Dickinson
1702

Today or this noon
She dwelt so close
I almost touched her—
Tonight she lies
Past neighborhood
And bough and steeple,
Now past surmise.
  Feb 2016 Summer
Jessica Lynne
After you, alcohol cannot intoxicate me.
A six word epic
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