its true you were there,
for all my faults and my failures,
you were there in all my joys and my pain,
you were there when i was insane.

But now the things have changed like fantasy,
drowning ships and falling stars,
making my days hard and tearing the nights apart,
making each memoir a bitter truth and each moment a filthy lie,
yes you have changed and the love is lost,
so has the belief and the trust.

the ego and the rage causing the fall with the maze,
making this relation a mockery with blaze,
things have changed with the voyage,
how can i trust you now,
after all the things you have done,
yes i am falling apart after you have gone.

With the dawn of sparking sunlight,
and the charm of varying twilight,
there came a breeze of mere silence,
bending against the blaze of passion,
tickling my heart with crumbs of love.

It was you with flowers in your hands,
or was it the fantasy in my mind,
a fantasy which made me fall in love,
with the angel having a pretty soul.

Cheerful you are with the happiness in life,
love we have with the trust and vibe,
it starts at dawn and ends at dusk,
carries me away from the core of musk,
fate has a habit of bringing people together,
let them be, either for a moment or forever.

you are beautiful,
you seem happy,
you are nice
you are cute,
you are sweet,
but you are mute,
because i see you only in the screen..

I beg of you, shallow man, vain girl,
since when is attraction only seen?

can't you see the passion of someone's heart,
or the lack of selfishness in his gentle eyes?

a beautiful face, in time it will fade,
but a heart of gold, will stand the test of life,
more than cashmere words & silky lies.

I beg of you, love of mine, oh sweet divine,
since when do I not shine like stars in your eyes?

can't you see the kindness within my heart,
or the willingness to love you unconditionally,
whether in sight or blind?

a beautiful appearance can soon be faded,
but a love deep like the ocean cannot be seen,
yet it can be felt in the depths of your heart.

think of this before you break my heart,
and before you think of loving someone else.

lies are so pretty, I fall each time as hard,
your words are cheap but I appreciate each one,
simply because I adore your wicked smile.

either you're Satan in disguise or the mighty God of love,
because I'm falling under way too fast.

THE GENTLEMAN OF SHALLOT

Come Spring...

I paint my little room
all yellow

fill it with
daffodils & jonquils

drag in a giant
mirror

(left in the back yard)      

so large

it takes up
all the wall

giving the illusion
of another room

as if my room
were now not so

small.

Sometime the trompe d'oeil
fools even me

& I walk into
the imaginary room.

'Ouch! '
my reflection shouts!

Come Spring...
...came you!

(totally unexpected)      

& my playing with
perspective

hath you enthralled.

I'd catch you
catching your
reflection observing you

observing
the mirror couple

as they
mimiced us

watching our every
more

you thought it so
sensual

or could pretend to be
at a small ****

when it was only
us

again

&

again.

Bodies of flesh & blood
bodies of glass.

You breathe
upon the mirror

tracing our names
with a fingertip

fragile words
made of breath

'...this love...will last...! '

*

When we break
up

the mirror
stayed intact

except for a jagged
lightning crack

& now it was I
who watched

like a gentleman of Shallot

the couple
in the mirror

(the ghosts of
memory)      

making love

bodies of flesh
& blood

bodies

of

glass.

Every time, the state I feel like,
I've lost something,
really precious,
really valueable,
and that meant something
in my life,
which had some value,
I get lost in myself,
with the activation of my brain,
I ask with my soul,
Is this the end?
and the answer I get,
really cheers me up!!

My body is a house
holding dead things inside


My sanctuary desecrated.

I hear a chopper coming-is it coming for me-- postman in my driveway with registered mail ---Ex refusing to leave my house of bitter memories-Children are making up games about me on the streets-mean streets -I remember them well -asphalt burning my soles--want to find a group to call my own-tick tock familiar clock-were at it again-no place to be-plenty of time left for most anything everyday-answering -I hear you -I know what you want-to talk with a persecutor , family , marketer , dealer, -ex boss-medicine-hand over bad -eye-room moving always -conditioned -revolving day to day events-just like the day before -future day -Ive seen them---know what they tell-----mind reader -Im the mountain you can't climb-I'm the lake of fire-hiding behind closed doorways-trapped in Walmart with no way out ----loud on the internet where i can't be seen-making friends to take friends to quell my aggressive tendency -chest pounding-breath -window -drawing -remembering-*** beatings-hiding-drinking -stabbing childhood-screaming-parent-nodding sleeping -leaving -****** in my pants -pleading returning -forgiving dealing -needing-grieving !