you’re not used to this is how you testify?
woe to thee who asked for ease to be denied!
since you’re better than others and cannot believe otherwise
i have no sympathy if that’s your reply
i don’t care if you’re levitating insufferably high
everyone deserves respect regardless of how stratified
kindness isn’t stupid, it’s beautifully dignified
if you can’t see that then you’re unqualified
to be of those I declare compassionately legitimized
if you were truly great you wouldn’t resort to abuses
you’d be who you are no matter how many uses
and while i believe in doing what one so reasonably chooses
my sympathies are immune to your pompous excuses

i look at a guy and i go "oh my"
then i shake my head, smile, and say "goodbye"
for i’d never even dare to attempt to try
to win his heart over with a life like mine
it would be too complicated so i must decline
the opportunity to establish a relationship of much genuine
i’d hate to hurt each other and ruin the sunshine
that comes with being able to glance, yet stay on the sidelines
to avoid getting hurt and disrupting lifelines
that are connected with the heart and therefore, storylines
thus, i may look at a guy and even go "oh my"
but i can never forget to shake my head, smile, and say
"goodbye."

i don’t have the energy to pretend i’m happy today
and i don’t mean i’ll act in an unnecessary big way
i won’t sulk in a corner, wishing i was in the middle of a freeway
and i surely won’t think of throwing someone down a stairway
you must understand what i’m trying to say
haven’t you ever had one of those days?
when someone comes up to you with a smile
expecting to receive a reaction that’s worthwhile
because to them, it would be weird if you showed your true expression
they’d then mistake it for a misplaced aggression
or maybe even a form of great depression
perhaps one could be mistaken for merely seeking attention
or attempting to commit some expected form of deception
when really it was just a lack of perception
on their part for expecting yet not receiving perfection.

you force out the worst in me
i become deplorable when we meet
i’m abominable for stooping to a deadbeat
my words take the form of white heat
with everything i say aiming to deplete
you of your happiness and will to thrive
because you don’t deserve it is what i decide
you brought this on yourself the moment your vice ossified
poor you to have angered the lawfully evil war bride
i can handle your ******* no matter how unjustified
but touch those i hold dear and you will be crucified
because one who would harm an innocent would be
shall receive no mercy from me
i gave you power with my command key
you relished at my state of being unfree
you called me weak when in actuality
you are the very definition of cowardly
so congrats! you’ve won the prize
of being the only person i love to despise
for my most famed trait is kindness
which you will never witness in your point of view
due to my vow of a shamelessly wicked attitude
you’re a lucrative lesson i must get through
but my God, i truly do hate you

if sleep is for the weak, why aren’t i strong?
clearly that saying is nothing but wrong
but i’m forced to smile when people play along
“oh i couldn’t sleep either! i can relate”
i wouldn’t wish this on my terrible roommate
to lie in bed as i deteriorate
knowing the next morning will retaliate
i’ll barely be able to make it through the day
or much less hide my decay
it hurts when you don’t understand what i say
i wasn’t anxious or in complete disarray
i’m genuinely insane or at least halfway
you don’t know what it does to a person to be forced to stay awake
i’ve tried everything, even posting want ads
in hopes to find the sleep everyone else seems to have
i cry every night, not because i’m sad
but because i’m so frustrated with my new fad
of staying awake all hours of the night
ignoring the aching i’m given out of spite
it’s enough to make me wish to run into the light
and finally reward myself with a sleep filled night
the problem is i’m a bit of a socialite
i keep what i go through out of sight
if i don’t i may be viewed as impolite
for speaking only of struggle in search of a spotlight
so every night i’m filled with nausea
at the dread of wanting to avoid the phenomena
of another sleepless night of ignoring the obvious
my brain is sick because I have insomnia

do you think he loves me?
that would require me to be lovable
past experiences indicate the probability is no
yet the past doesn’t mean the future owes us anything
so love him

my Passion, my Love
that i sometimes feel i am undeserving of
i am only with you because i was given a shove
that i now believe came from above
the way it struck me caught me off guard
and left me with an attitude of complete disregard
for what i was really meant to do
like please my kin and follow through
on my (their) plans to remain untrue
to who i am and who i’ve turned into
over the years, all i’ve ever really wanted
was to live my life not feeling haunted
by the one thing i know i will come to regret
which is leaving my Passion, my Love out in the rain to get wet.