A female Midas whose touch transforms into gold?
A Medusa who stare turns you to stone?
A sorceress who’s presence turns all to poison?
Or perhaps all three?
Only time will tell.

I sit here till long after dark
Oblivious
To all around me
Scribing my soul
Onto parchment
Words
Feelings
Actions
Unfinished
Left hanging
For evermore

I walked into the house,
A timid mouse scurried away,
I heard the ticking of a clock,
The door slammed shut behind me,
All was quiet.
I stepped into the darkened room,
Eerie, dismal, frightening.
The patter of footsteps,
The blood-curdling scream,
My blood turned cold.
The thumping in my heart,
A thing creeping up closer behind me,
His bones rattling,
The push and stumble,
Nearer and nearer,
Bigger and bigger

Then the morning,
And waking up.

I stumble dazed and confused
Drifting and floating off
My body on this earth
But my spirit elsewhere
Thoughts swirling in my head
It’s all so clear
Yet oh so jumbled
Confusing
And scarily vast
Like staring into the depths of the abyss
That’s either a place full of blackness and fear,
Or a place of rainbow lights with its excitement and dreams and creativity
And boundless love

Everything is important
Nothing is important
Unless we make it so
Choose it so.
Life is experience
About learning the lessons
About enjoying the ride
Love?
Fear?
The choice is yours
And yours alone to make

Deep dark sobs
Of decades long
hurt and pain
Churning in the sacral
Threatening to release their torrent
Seemingly from nowhere
To overwhelm oh so completely,
But for now
A mass of
Confusion
Anger and
Sadness
With
Nowhere to go

Bucket list item,
A dream come true,
In my 50th year
An extra in a film,
Not just any film,
But big feature film with famous stars!
5:30am early start,
Breakfast in individual covid pods,
Undergarments on,
Hair and makeup,
Outer clothes on,
Boots brushed,
Creases steamed,
Lipstick touched up,
Hair curled and sprayed within an inch of its life,
Top to tail inspection,
Bussed to holding area,
Hours of waiting,
Deep and meaningful conversations,
Histories divulged,
Books devoured,
Ping pong with sellotaped paper ***** and paper plates!,
Sleeping,
3 meals a day
Preened and touched up some more,
Line up
Yet another inspection,
Walk to set.
Back to holding area.
Walk to set,
This time we’re on.
Sometimes told where to start,
Other times make it up yourself,
With very little direction.
1930’s German,
Unshapely winter coat and thick woollen tights
Looking 20 years older ******!
Walking along German street
Trams and old cars,
And mashed paper snow!,
Glancing in shop windows
As the main protagonists walk on by,
Sometimes repeat after repeat after repeat after repeat
Of 10 seconds of filming from every angle,
And others wrapped after 1-2 takes.
Freezing cold, rain, sun, never puts us off,
******* screens to block out the sun
Blue screens at the end of the street and the top of buildings,
Sheltering from the rain in shop doors in between takes,
Bonnets on, masks on,
Get in position, bonnets off, masks off.
“Rolling” they shout,
Klaxon sounds,
“Action vehicles”,
“Action background”,
“Action”
Here we go again.