I've spent countless hours
Searching for myself in bottles
And scraping the bottom
Hoping that I may be found there

I've spent countless hours
Searching for myself in medication
And swallowing the hardest of pills
Seeking refuge in the numbness

I've spent countless hours
Searching for myself in people
And cleaning myself after the lust
Just feeling more lost than before

I've spent countless hours
Talking others down from suicide
And hating every reassuring word
That comes out of my lying mouth

I've spent countless hours
Staring at myself in the mirror
And working on my smiles and laughs
So that they seem real and authentic

And I've spent countless hours
Regretting all these hours wasted

there's the sun,
and all the stars,
and he is the moon
who reflects
the light to me
when the dark
comes around
and i can't see

without the sun,
the moon would
not be shining
so the moon
chases the sun
continuously

then he tells me,
"isn't she lovely?"

somewhere deep
inside of me,
i desperately wish
he was talking
about me

but my light can
never be as bright
as hers

she is the sun
that lights him up

and i am just
a mere human
who can see
the beauty
of the universe
whenever i look
up

i see the moon
with all its stars,

all of the bright,
little things

along with all
of the flaws on
its surface

but i just can't
explain why
he looks so
beautiful, so
perfect
in my eyes

your universe
might include
the galaxies,
the planets,
asteroids,
meteoroids,
and comets

but my universe
is when i can
see all the
constellations,
hear all of the
rustling trees
and still feel
the same thing
in my heart
whenever i look

up

and imagine
that he is
holding me
in his arms