It has only been a week since I've been out of school.




The anxiety of being alone is getting to me.

Feet on the pedals,
Crunchy Gravel.
Sunshine.

Cycling to nowhere,
Round and Round,
Without a care.

Fences and trees,
and paths and leaves.
Laughter. Joy.

Up and Down,
Back and forth,
A circular journey.

Round and round,
Over and over
and over and...

Beginning, middle, end.
Addiction, Recovery, Relapse.
OCD, Depression, Anxiety.

Cycling to nowhere.

Counting... Always... Counting.

A cup of herbal tea, maybe with some sugar.
If I feel up to it.

Maybe some soup, grilled cheese.
If I can stomach it.

Dinner. Whatever mom makes.
My only supervised meal.

Tired, all day... Every day.
Drowning in college papers.

The curves I worked so hard to get back...
Well. They're nearly gone.

Protruding hip bones,
Protruding collar bones,
Boney fingers,
Pale skin,
Fantastic figure and pretty ribs,
Cold toes and bad circulation.

Heart murmurs... Shaky breathing... Migraines... Exhaustion... Confusion... Lethargy... Weight loss

Shaking, Shaking, Shaking...
Shivering?

Gotta go make a cuppa, warm up a bit.

But... what's left for me to be healthy for, anyway?

I'll take a bath to warm up instead






Probably.

Polycystic ***** Syndrome.

As it turns out,
Once your hormones are under control,
You aren't always overflowing with emotion.

Even if you're still infertile.

Ja faz algum tempo.
Sinto saudades de todos voces.

Tudo bem?
Estou bem.

Eu sou ainda sozinho.

Mas, esta tudo bem

:-)