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Saumya Jan 2018
Some nights I peel off my face and hang up my despair. I paint on a new face maybe even draw a big smile, then I take some pictures and share some superficial giggles. When the fakeness fades, I come back home- I throw on my raw face, wear my comfy despair, and sit and sob for hours
#empty #fake #lost #sad
  Jan 2018 Saumya
I'm begging you to stop. Stop choking me until my vision begins to blur and my lungs are aching only to let go, let me gasp in one big breath, and then continue to choke me again. Stop offering to light my cigarette only so you can get close enough to burn yours against the frail skin on my chest. Stop pulling the knife out of my heart apologizing and saying it slipped while you cover the wounds only to shove it in even further seconds later and ******* please stop telling me you love me only to laugh at me a few days later and say you never meant it because my body can only sustain itself for so long in this constant state of confusion and yearning for acceptance because eventually my soul will crumble to pieces smaller than your eyes could see or hands could heal and my mind will finally get wrapped up in the idea of loving you for so long it can never find its way back to normal regardless of how many times you grab my shoulders and shake me screaming that you hate me and who could ever love someone as messed up as me how could I have ever been so delusional to believe you and ending it with that evil laugh but my mind will still be so wrapped up in loving you that I won't hear any of it and my skin will be so numb from your gentle touch just yesterday that I would even feel you slapping me and just please stop doing this to me. Stop torturing me. And now as I'm screaming this at the top of my lungs with tears running down my face I realize the entire time you've been choking me and burning me with cigarettes you've been thousands of miles away, never once making contact with my skin. C.a.l
  Jan 2018 Saumya
i try not to blame her
she makes you happy
and if you deserve anything
it is to be happy but
every time i see your eyes light up at her
brighter than they ever did at me
there’s a pang of aching jealousy that
hits me and my stomach drops to the floor
i wish i could be her
i wish i had her long blond hair,
perfectly shaped lips and thin hips
i wish i could’ve made you as happy as
she makes you.

soon i’ll be gone from your memory
i’d like to say the same for you of mine but
i know the thought of you kissing her will be
enough to keep me up at night for weeks

it’s not her fault, it’s not her fault, it’s not her fault
(is it mine?)
Saumya Jan 2018
You turned me into your little fool, then left me and stood in the audience and laughed
Saumya Jan 2018
Hot Ms.Sandlebach
When she whispered we all got goosebumps
There was an artistic beauty in her tear drops as she cried and red passion in her daily vibrant cherry lipstick
Her eyes spoke stories but no one ever understood them
Everyone wanted Ms.Sandlebach but, poor  lady, no one cared for what she wanted
Saumya Jan 2018
Perhaps I'm destined for more in my life than to simply gush and blush when a man acts sweet to me, mope and vent whilst he acts indifferent and weep and mourn as he walks over me

— The End —