How can I not be jealous of your romance when I am still wondering why God did not let mine live?

In the end, I'll never know if she missed me as much as I missed her.

Quit selling your soul to the temporary.

She was an artist, who drew me into her life.
The way she’d paint my name on her canvas.
The way she swept me away with every blank verse.

But one fact remained,

She drew me into her life only to smudge me into different shades,
Painted my name in watercolour as my name was smeared off the page,
And with every blank verse I fell, plummeting into an uncertain oblivion.

She was an artist,
Who got sick and tired of dead colours,
So she drew colours from broken hearts,
And bruised emotions.

You ask me how I can love you
You who is broken, and limping, and lame
I stop you before the tear can fall
Taking them from your eyes
And crying them out my own
I tell you the truth of absolute love
I tell you I wear no blinders
I see you as you are
I see your imperfections but we are all flawed
Those minute cracks in your soul
Trickle out pain in swirling hues of tender that highlight your heart
A heart you profess is black and stone
But it beats strong within my chest
Where I will nuture it and feed it with my own
I see all the nicks and bruises and breaks
They are not reasons to walk away
They are the very thing that makes you worthy
Your damage healed in stregnth
You are not broken
You are beautiful in all things
A tender heart that bleeds for others
That hates you for not being better...for me
Don't you know?  Can't you see?
There is no better, you are as good as it gets
It is I who is unworthy
And in all your fear of being alone, you overlook the truth of who  you are
of who I am when I am with you
You see beauty in every corner of derelict
You fill my cracks with your joy
To the point where you feel you run out, not even knowing you gave it away
You see in me what I am unable to see in myself
And because it is you who sees it I believe you
I see your cracks and spackle them with love
I see the scars and am thankful you survived the journey
And tomorrow, or next week next month or next year
When you have grown strong in my love
When the time comes that you realize I am naught but pieces duct taped together
When you  see the truth of what I have always known
I will still love you
When you move on to brighter days and greener pastures
I will still love you
When you see that you are worthy of more than I am able to give you
I will still love you, as I do now
For I never learned how to unlove someone
And you have always been worthy

As if I couldn't already see all my faults, you hand me lenses daily

Please don't leave me alone
with all of my thoughts.