It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

I should be going to sleep
But the shadows at the corner of my eye
Keep whispering secrets
I never asked for

I’m pacing down the hallways
Of my sanity
Waiting for a door to open
Down at the deep end

The peonies dance a slow waltz
In a breeze that does not exist
And the ivy crawl up walls
Over lamps, over windows

Come sit with me
Next to the pond
You cannot leave
So take your time

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

Now I have never kissed you before

But I have imagined it.
What it might feel like
Or what you might do

Some people say it’s magical
But do you think that’s true?

Because my Father says it’s like a raindrop,
Now I don’t understand that too

But he’s had a lot more experience than me
If I had to guess what he meant
I would say it’s soft,
Welcoming,
And sends a chill down your spine,
Is a little uncomfortable at first
But in the end, it will be just fine.

If this is true, then it’s not how it feels that makes it magical
It’s the fact I’ll be doing it with you.