have you ever broken something and tried to put it back together?

you usually can't find every single piece

but you glue the bigger pieces together

it's not perfect but it doesn't look half bad

most people won't notice it's broken unless they look hard enough

and that's kind of how it was after you left

I was like a broken vase that you dropped on purpose

it may have taken 6 months for me to put most of the pieces back together

and I'm still missing some

but only a couple people had to look hard enough to notice such sadness in my eyes

and everytime I see the half broken vase in my hallway I smile

because even though it's missing some pieces it still stands

it may not be perfect but it's fixable

And it gives me hope that maybe one day I'll be okay

without you,
the missing piece

Trying to push me to do something that gives me anxiety does not help my anxiety disorder. It only makes it worse.

"Find what you love and let it **** you" -Bukowski*
this is a response to this quote i find intriguing.*

well i found what i love, and it
wasn't the type of love
you can get over in a day or in a year.

that love came in a form of a human
being, a great genuine boy-- well i thought.
he wasn't the most perfect human being
in the world,
but i loved him.

slowly but surly, the love we had
didn't last.
he started to move on with out me
leaving me behind.
but in my mind,
oh god how much i loved him,
i couldn't seem let him go.

the love that i had for this boy,
slowly did end up killing me.
not physically but emotionally.  

the sad part of it all,
i don't know if i should believe
in love anymore.