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Im tired.
Im tired of making the same mistakes over and over again.
Im tired.
Im tired of wanting to achieve my dream without doing any causes.
Im tired.

When i try to make a change,
i don’t know which one; either my mind, my heart, my guts, my soul(?)
will stop me from doing what’s best.
But i know my mind keeps telling me to change,
so i know he’s not the perpetrator.

So which one is the suspect?
Or maybe all of the rest are plotting against me.
Or am i trying to convict someone else in my life for my misbehaves
because i totally understand
there’s no one that i can point my finger on.
So i created all these illusions — disillusioned as it sounds —
just to set me free
from all the burden
of not doing my responsibilities right.
I
I
I
Am
Trying
To
Be
Nice
I
I
Refrain
Slowly im dragged again
Ķðiif
Now
Whatev3r
I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.
My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay ***, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the color you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.
But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.
I toss and turn in the moonlight
Your love is like moonshine
Bitter, but with a wild side
Prickly like thorns
And beautiful like your roses

Lady of the moon, bathe me in your beams
Let me mold like the rotten husk I am
Let me sink into your ocean
Craddle me in your caverns
Let me drown in what is you


Cleanse me of my sins
And rebirth me anew
So that I may be perfect for you
This poem is about a toxic relationship I had in my past where I completely changed myself to try and be perfect for someone that never loved me the same. I'm hoping this gives others comfort in knowing they aren't alone in their experiences
When the lands have run dry,
And the fruits have shriveled up
When the breeze makes you shiver
And the bees are laid to rest

I Remember our December
The warmth of candle lit conversation
And our anticipation

I sowed the seeds of our regret
After the frost, to forget.
And in the spring came the crop.
Then the memories came flooding in

A beautiful harvest, but one only I got to see
Far too late
Too much for me to bare, it lays rotting.
Baron and defeated

And then the cycle continues
Each year, the fields more fruitful than the last
And each year I let it rot away.
Fragile memories never looked back.

I reminisce on what could have been
And then a little dove, flew through my window
To remind me of what was
I tended to the harvest that year.

I cherished every fruit, handling it with care
Looking back on each memory we shared.
Each a hard lesson to learn from
The love is gone but not forgotten

Now each year I collect
No longer neglecting the fields
Using my yields to learn and grow
But always knowing, how I'll miss you so
This poem is about closure, and how processing past relationships can be hard, but each experience of ours can be a fruitful lesson we sometimes need to learn
I want to know you inside out,
I want to know it all -
It doesn't matter if it's important
Or if you consider it to be small.

Tell me all your secrets,
Tell me what makes you, you.
Tell me things you won't tell others -
What you have gone through.

Tell me what upsets you,
Tell me what you lack.
I won't tell it to anyone -
Dear, I've got your back.

Tell me what annoys you,
What makes you mad,
Things that you regret
Or things that make you sad.

Tell me all the reasons,
The reasons why you cry.
Let me make you laugh then;
At least let me try.

I don't know about future,
But this much you can be sure,
No matter what life brings you,
Together we can endure.
I met a friend today
His name was Death
He smiled big with pure white teeth
And minty fresh breath
I asked him what he did for a living
Staring blankly at me, batting his eyelashes
He did the opposite of giving
What did that mean?
But the closer I got to Death
The better I understood his scheme
In his sharp black suit he won me over
I felt an irresistible draw
Like to a diamond in the rough, or a four leaf clover
He convinced me of the beauty in the night
That when the moon was hidden from view
There was nothing better than the lack of light
He led me from my lust for life
Sang to me in my sleep
Whispered sweet nothings and handed me the knife
I tried to pull away from my newly found friend
But his choke hold was so tight
On him I started to depend
The world could see me deteriorate into nothing
He held me harder and closer
With shortness of breath I stood huffing and puffing
Enclosed in the lackluster of our friendship I became numb
The emotions drifted with my vitality
I tried to retrieve them but could only attain 1/5th of my former sum
The more time you spend with a person
The more you become like them
I suppose I couldn't see the situation worsen
Collar around my neck he leashed me like a dog
I cared so deeply for him
My haze filled mind ignored the dense fog
I came to terms with my life long trap
Death circled like a satellite around my position
No matter where I went he found my place on the map
Eventually I succame to this fate
Despite his control
Death, I could not hate
I loved him too dearly to notice the signs
I couldn't think clearly
His presence was odious and it wasn't benign
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