Go collect white feathers,
and tie them up with strings.

I'll be your guardian angel
if you'd only make me wings.

Last night I couldn't sleep
I heard soft whimpers right next to me
I shut my eyes tightly
And I heard her saying

"Did I failed?"
"Did I failed as a mom?"
My heart shattered into million pieces
Hearing every single word she said

How am I supposed to continue breathing
How am I supposed to be happy
When my presence is nothing but a problem
To the one who brought me into this world?

I wiped my tears
And slept throughout the guilt
Knowing I could never repay
Whatever she did

But mom, I'm suffering
And I don't know how to tell you
These thoughts has been eating me up lately
And I think I'm dying soon

Mom, I want you to know
You're not the one who failed
It's me-
I'm the one whom had created this hell
And you don't deserve anything like this

For your happiness I'd do anything
Even if it cost my life
And I swear I'd die for you
Because you've risked your life for me

Mom I love you
More than any woman in this world
I hope you'd forgive me
Before I'm gone from this world

- R

If you fall for me; don’t fall for who I am on a good day first.
The first thing you should see is the sweet
melancholy hiding in the corners of my eyes.
The first thing you should melt over is the softness of my belly and how
I’ve grown accustomed to the idea that my hips may never correlate
with the rest of my body’s shape.
The first thing that should tempt you is the clean slate of my face and
absent-minded behavior, how I can never seem to notice when someone notices me.
Don’t fall in love with my sweet demeanor, because
I promise it won’t last.
Don’t fall in love with my laughter unless
you’re willing to earn it on an especially bad day.
And please, don’t fall in love with my voice unless you can
be patient enough on the days it refuses to come out of hiding.
If you fall in love with me, dive in and
search for the deepest parts of me.
If you want my love, accept the sharpest pieces that cannot be repaired
and please, please handle me with care.

What if I do love you?
And it's not just 'love'.
But uttering the words is impossible
Because letting you into my heart is
Terrifying.
I have put the barrier up,
The barrier that only allows 'love' not love.
It twists my emotion into a word I do not wish to say,
The same word but a different meaning.
You say I love you
And I reply with 'I love you too'.
I want to mean more but
The fear stops me-
It manipulates
Everything I stand for.
'I love you' hurts you
but
I love you hurts me.
Teach me how to say it,
Tell me to be brave.

with her soft hands waiting
for another set to keep it warm,
she bonds all by herself in peace.
she relives the fire of the candle
and her thoughts illuminated
the dark room.
why must day and night
occur simultaneously?
she wonders why the moon
keeps on following the sun.
why does the blue sea
keeps on returning back
to the yellow sands?
why must summer end
in order for
fall to follow?
why can't the feeling
last for so long?
why must she experience
happiness
short-lived happiness,
and in exchange,
experience the pain
like a burning sensation
inside her throat?
and on that night
she utters to herself,
"i guess it has to be way."

she's angry and hurt
whenever she remembers
how the typhoon came to her
and destroyed almost
everything she owns
taking away the glow
and replacing it with
sad music.
she lost so much before,
almost believing this could
just be another 'storm'
nevertheless
the intensity of the woe
was the same.

and on that same night,
she puts her hands together
and her eyes look up to the
empty ceilings
"God, I just want to be happy again."