i am in love with you.

i am in love with the way
your eyes
curl into crescent shapes
when you’re happy.

i am in love with the way
your laugh
rings through my ears
like wind chimes on a breezy spring day.

i am in love with the way
your cold hands
fit into my warm ones,

and how you look at me
with reassurance i need
when i’m ready to burst into tears.

but i cannot love you
the way you want me to.

(let me explain myself.)

i am in love with the
thought
of you.

i am in love with the
concept
of you.

i am not in love
with
you.

i love you,
my dearest friend.

i do not love you
as my partner.

and i cannot love you
the way you love me.

i cannot give myself completely to you
because i am not
in love.

(and i never will be.)

better than never
my every day ever

the smile I wear
one of despair
with the morning sun
going out to feel the burn
the usual runs

the day brings
many stings
head low
knee above
hands over head
and a fall on the bed