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PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I Do Have a Light.
It hasn’t sparked yet .
When it does, it will be so bright .
When I free From
This sickness , il be somebody .
I have the potential
To achieve great things .
I’m intelligent.
When I break Free
My life will Experience
So many Amazing things.
Il make my self useful.
I Will be productive
People will then depend on me.
I’m an awesome person.
Unfortunately my life
Unfolded Differently than others.
That doesn’t mean I can’t get
Back on my feet & Level Up.
I might not be anyone right now .
Have Attractive features
Like drive , Work , Education.
I do have other Nice things to point out towards me .  
One day il rise .
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
He feels he needs to breath
From the problems he’s caused.
Yet feels he needs air
As he sees her be the cause.
Lately he’s thinking,
wondering Off.
Not wanting to but
slightly thinking of leaving her off ..
The problem isn’t his Part, or nothing he ever Cause.
He just sees the main parts, the ones he disagrees on.
He already dislikes the issue
Now involving the girl that’s supposed be his wife soon ?
He’s not wanting but wandering off
Thinking a slight different of leaving her oif.
He’s never truly proven how strong his love is.
Which adds more the conspiracy  
Of leaving the love ..
Not that he ever felt Bad
Or try to correct anything
His emotions have been 1#.
Besides he didn’t like her all that much
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
If he wants to believe
My love was never there.
I must accept
That all my tears were never seen
If he wants to believe
I never cared
I must accept that all my effort
went to waste.
In a life.
We encounter many interests.
In which we put ourselves to experience
what seems so delighting.
In a life .
We are first witness & what
We thought turned out good was opposite
Our views changed
Either purposely or unnoticed.
In this world you won’t do things you Dont want to.
You will never enjoy something forceful.
To my point , my feelings hurt as I say this.
Now I realize ..
I have to accept it is part of reality
If the Man Im my world
, sees me as the problem
like his stress & headaches
Without me ever truly offending In any type of  way
I have to accept it.
If he’s starting to think of his own life without me.
I much accept it.
I was a doubt
he mingled me around
swerved different ways
played with me a bit.
like life
he liked, but wasn't that found of me
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
How God Smilied bright
To see me sober from the sky
A beautiful 19.
I managed to stay clean all Year.
I broke the record .
14 15 16 17 18
Dear how that year my soul recovered.
I smiled so bright
Knowing everything from now on
Will shine .
A big relief.
I will never turn to tweak
I set free. Finally.
Thanks to my loving Companion
Who made sobriety possible.
My dog Mia.
For her I stood my ground
Held myself down
A dreamy 19 Drug free
My first year without drugs
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
My lovely poets (:
I’ve deleted some short poems & merged them to 1 post.
They are not recent , all from the past.
I’m also Publishing Draft writings that I did not post on the certain date . All new poems will have a 2018 Tag
If you see any duplicates please tell me !!
PEARL SMOKE Jan 2018
I’m not A normal Women.
I have issues That affect Not just me but my life entirely.
When I met You
Addiction was my only problem
You created Everything Els that causes daily doubts and arguments
I Was Once comfortable
In My own body.
like Everyone Els,
There are Things
I wish To Change Or have.
My Weight Didn't Bother me.
I didn't care about My physical Appearence much.
I Was Once Able To Go
A Full Month Without worrying About my looks.
until I Met You.
Everything Changed For me.
You Told me So Much.
Certain Likes,
Preferences & Dislikes.
What Your Taste in Women Are.
Hearing everything, I was far off.
Now Being Beautiful
is important to me.
Having A Smooth face, Slim Body *** And ****** Is What I feel I need To be Accepted And Liked.
Many Opportunties will Open And I will attract Friends.
Looking Beautiful In This World is The key To a happy life in my Eyes
Every Pretty Person I've seen
Is Happy with them self.
they have their Life together and living so well,
You are privileged in this world If You are goregeous.
It makes me cry
Every time I reach out for it.
I don't feel pleased When I'm about to Consume it.
It makes me feel horrible knowing I'm only doing this to forget the pain you put me through.
To Erase The memories .
How I wish I never went through this. Everyday I'm wishing I looked beautiful .
Light skin, well dressed, *** & big ****** like
You happily explained your type
All I Want is To Feel Happiness.
Go A Full Day Without Worrying About Nothing Naturally.
I Don't know how to See The beauty Life provides.
To Feel The Breeze And Have The sun Shine on me.
Went through My poems and deleted The short Ones.
I then Merged Them with another that’s similar .
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