Little by little
I come no closer to understanding
Why I long for closeness
(An introvert like me)

My friends might deny it
But I know
Why the dogs don't tug on their leashes
And why I never wave hello to their owners

There are moments when
I am reminded of a stranger saying
"It's difficult, huh?
Having a sister that's an extrovert?"

In the middle of the night I wake up thinking
"No, but what's difficult
Is wanting to be the best friend I can be
(An introvert like me)"

The threat that I'm gonna relapse is hanging over me
Like a dark cloud
I shiver knowing that I could fall
Off the small ledge I have made myself
At any moment I could take up
The blade that has done so much damage
I'm okay
For now
But will I be a week from today?

she looked in the mirror with tears in her eyes
and she couldn't even recognize
the face that was staring right back at her
when had all her innocence left her?
and she knew she would regret it as she dragged across her skin
the knife of a soul broken once again
she heard in the depths of her shattered heart
a voice calling out through the dark, saying,

don't you give up, don't you let go
I am with you, by your side, I'm by your side
you're amazing, you're beautiful, and
I promise you that I am here, I'm always here

blood like tears ran down her arms
and splashed onto the tile floor
a quiet reminder, proof of the lies,
the only thing she felt she could do
she had so many friends but they were all fake
she knew not one of them really loved her
she was standing right beside them but her soul was somewhere else
and she could not come back to earth, she heard,

don't you give up, don't ever let go
I am with you, by your side, I'm by your side
you are lovely, you are so worth it,
I promise you that I am here, I'm always here

in her darkest moment she heard it again,
she was ready to give up, she wanted to let go
she hated herself and what she'd become
so she held that knife to her skin...

I have a problem and I don't know how to tell you.
I wanted to say it in person.
But I couldn't find the words.
So I'll put it here.

I can't ask for help.
I'll be in so much pain that I can barely breathe,
But I can't do it.

I'll have a trouble with a math problem,
But I can't ask you.

I will be curled up on the floor sobbing,
But I'll tell you I'm fine.

It's happening right now.
I have a headache.
But will I ask for a pill?
Nope.

I don't know what to do.
I know it's bad but.
I just can't.
Sorry.

You make a mask over time,
Slowly working it to perfection,
Smoothing out the bumps and wrinkles.
Fixing the cracks and adding to the paint.
When you wake up the first thing you do is put on your mask,
When you go to sleep you take it off.
Some days it feel heavy.
Sometimes you take it off when you are alone and let the tears flow,
But then you hear someone coming closer and you quickly put it back on.
Under it your about to break,
About to crumble and fall to the floor.
But on the outside you smile and laugh.
Some people can see the mask,
But most don't bother.
Quickly put your mask on or they might see you!