Pandaa: Poems

Pandaa 21h

I sit in quiet, alone in thoughts.
Suddenly, I hear your endless whispers calling my name.

They flow like a gentle stream in the bay,
soft and familiar, yet slowly fading.

The fading noise lingers, and I hold on,
though your words slip further from my memory.

I sit in quiet, alone in my thoughts
The silence remains but the thoughts still linger in my head

If only you could see how much these thoughts mean to me.

#alone #lost #love #words #thoughts #lonely

Caged In

Pandaa Jun 2020

Caged In

How does it feel to be caged in from your own body

To wake up one day and realize the person standing  in  the mirror isn't you

It's just a reflection of how u want to be seen without the misjudgment and the hatred

Instead you cover yourself up with make-up and wear feminine clothes to disguise yourself as something you're not

Having to hide your breast with those layers of clothes on

How dose it feel to be caged in from your own body

To look all around you and realize that little girl isn't you anymore.

To feel isolate

To feel caged in.

I was meant to post this a while back but I totally forgot.

#transgender #body #fm #gender #idolation #lgbt

Gone to soon

Pandaa Sep 2021

Gone to soon

Words cannot describe the pain I feel for you now that you're gone.

The thought of you not being here with us seems so un real.

I wish it was all just a dream the part were you didn't have to die,

But when I open my eyes I realize you were gone to soon.

Without saying goodbye you left us here with our hearts torn apart.

Now you're in a better place up in heaven with god.

A place where you can be free now,

Free from all the pain you had inside.

Now you're gone to soon but your presence will never be forgotten.

I will miss you dearest cousin..

#ripcousin #family #loss #death #cousin #love #rip #sadness

Once told me

Pandaa Dec 2018

Once told me

People once told me darling don't fall in love it will just make it worse

The love that makes you feel all kinds of unusual emotions at first

It creeps in your body making you feel like a kid getting a toy

But when the toy falls it shatters to pieces making you feel empty

what was once happiness turned into destruction of a simple mis-communication

People once told me darling don't fall in love it will just make it worse

The worse I have experienced in love I have been it and seen it

But the happiness I felt in it made everything else seem so different

#love #relationship

Same old thing

Pandaa Jan 2019

Same old thing

My dad wasn't like your typical  dad you'd see on television

The one's who always had smiles on their faces  and loved their family

My dad was a man who would come home from work with a beer in his hand

At times maybe more than one depending on how drunk he would  be

  If my dad didn't have a beer he would  go insane  to the point of punching someone in their  face

That's how much he loved drinking beer to the point there was nothing left

Unfortunately he passed out on the ground that night with nothing but a beer in his hand.

#daddyissues #drunk #broken #family

She was only four

Pandaa Dec 2018

She was only four

Alice, age 4

My mother was beginning to lose her eye sight until eventually she went blind

The day it happened was a horrific experience for my mother like if the whole world had shut down on her

She would kneel down screaming from the top of her lungs and crying asking god '' Why me?''.

She'd plead every night for this to go away but eventually it kept getting worse everyday

That was the day I saw my own mother go insane to the point of actually doing something stupid

She looked at me saying ''sweetie everything is going to be okay'' with her voice almost breaking and tears running down her face

I was only four when this all happened.

#mother #love

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