I’m inside of a scaled walled fortress,
the greatest strains in a mind's limit,
to limit myself inside of castle walls,

Of a writer's block,
refusing to let my passions rest
inside concrete walls,

Paranoia is a loud emptiness,
bouncing back and forth,
corner to corner; in this ball,
playing with my thoughts in these walls,

I can’t think inside of these walls,
can’t see ahead fears inside of these walls,
reluctant to move inside of these walls,
dependent on myself inside of these walls,
I have no choice but to break down these walls.

honeycomb lips,
swarms of bees on your tongue,
hives on your heart,
a Queen bee is your soul.

buzzing, buzzing, buzzing,

all in my ears,
now a taste of my tears,
straight after I got stung.

buzzing, buzzing, buzzing,

there she goes,
only protecting her sweet,
nectar is her love,
but I found myself allergic to bees.

buzzing, buzzing, buzzing.

I face fatigue each time I breathe,
praying on my knees until they bleed,
Facing another stressful day I’ve got to live,
I wish I could leave, if I believe enough in all of
my dreams; I’d close my eyes just to relive, and sigh
heavily for my relief.

Oh grief, is sentiment cement on memory streets;
walking on for long, towards that unfamiliar dawn,
Listening to unfamiliar songs, hoping I never forget
where the heck I came from.

When I get famous, and lost in the crowd’s
empty praises; the quietest moments are so loud.
I hope I make my family proud, and buy my mother
that house, she’d live in happily, even if it was for a couple
hours. Really beats the days I was just borrowing flowers.

Forgetting when Mother’s day actually falls,
let me recheck my calendar to make sure.

From having bosses smile politely at me,
but refer to me by the worst of words.
I’m just nodding my head for an empty pay cheque,
spending it on necessities. But ****, that swiping
hurts!

Waiting for a day to be closing my eyes at every swipe,
no need to add, and calculate the final price,
Without all of the wants, but enough money to afford
all of my needs in life.

Let them remember me by all of these
experiences I enjoy to write.

I truly love to write...

A for anybody; for any of you reading
into my heart. Try correct the spelling.

B for beginning; to any great story I’m
soon to tell. I hope to get your understanding.

C for seasons; oh for life’s many moments
comes with change. All reshaping.

D for decisions; mostly the critical ones
I make in a day. I do so after praying.

E for eating; especially when I’m in a such
a bad mood. Who doesn’t love eating?

F for effort; so fit to do even in the hardest
of all situations. Just keep pushing!

G for ginger; sweet and bitter at times
while trying to be polite. People are testing.

H for eish; a word I often say under a lot
of daily stress. The closest I am to swearing.

I for iron; cause life’s a pressing matter
of sorts. And close to *******.

J for Jane; I couldn’t think of a clever word
but I’d most likely crush on one. Just saying.

K for Kassan; I wouldn’t be one shying away
from loving himself. I’m quite impressing.

L for l-plate; cause I’m still learning this
race to truly love. There’s no point rushing.

M for meh; not much for me to really say
when it comes to it. Just keep it moving.

N for anything; that tickles your fancy
on happiness. Just keep on smiling.

O for oh; of all the many realizations in
this beautiful life. So mesmerising.

P for pea; not the liquid if your mind
leaks. It wasn’t a vegetable I was fond of eating.

Q for cue; maybe as the time for me to
leave, or stick in the line. Cameras always rolling.

R for are; being asked if you are ready or
you are not. Especially if it’s something daring.

S for especially; mostly in the times my points
are right. No need correcting.

T for tedious; I’m not a fan of repeating myself
too many times. Are you listening?

U for euphoria; I’ve never been the happiest
to use that word. But I’m still trying.

V for victorious; and of the vision to
see my successes far ahead. I keep on dreaming.

W for double you; seems a bit to easy
but I’d wish to have a double of you. Talking about loving.

X for excellent; as of when I write something
that fills me with joy. So exciting!

Y for why; for a curious mind hungry
for wisdom, and spirituality. I long for reasoning.

Z for zeal; the cause is done when it finally
meets it’s end. Finally granted the best finishing.

Love's ugliness to the roses of sweet,
Claiming you as an only need,
A beast to sweet nothings; it has to feast,
I sprained my ankles; at the too many times love
swept me off my feet.

Violets painted in a colour of violence,
Stealing a heart; by a bandit's right handed
silence,

Patience my love; all of your ends are priceless,
Driving myself into you without the licence,
But there's so many types of love like this.

Love's closed fist; is a punch to a pretty face,
An open hand to follow, but with a chase,
An unruly intention, disguised in grace,
Criticism of another, at times under praise,
A good feeling at times, but at times the good
wants to misbehave.

Still...

It's of beauty; behind a world's cruelty,
Wishing you all the best. Well usually,
Continually chasing a love to fool me,
A nut of sorts; love would ***** me.

Longing for love; when you've felt unloved,
Longing for feelings; never been touched,
Longing for hands; the last been clutched,
Longing for speed; hoping to get that rush,
Darling I must love you too much.

I'm drinking young, as my body gets older,
three girls, and immature conversation on a long sofa.
The drinks get colder, and colder, my chest gets warmer;
on whiskey shots with no body armour.
I taste a sound, and smell a colour of doing in my head
over social trends,
Partying with people who aren't really my friends.
My bladder feels like a knife tip on my hanging joys,
Taking long pees, and taking chances with any girl; when I've
got the confidence of the boys.

Disco lights under the party life, a quick mix to dilute my
drink with some sprite.
Not something I love, but I'm learning to like.
Hype me up with cheers, line out my favourite gin, and
put aside those heavy beers.
I've got a sweet tongue for fun, a mix of sweetness and
alcohol like my favourite chocolate. Raisin and ***.

Too scared to cough; I might just throw up,
but I can't seem weak; so I'll just bro up.
Acting proud while yelling, "another cup"

I pass out, and wake up in a house that's not my house.
In a bed wrapped in a pink fluffy towel.
The someone by my side, if I can remember wasn't too
hot; but sort of mild.
By my skin marks; she seemed a little wild.

But I notice a wig on a mannequin head,
I peep to see that it wasn't the same girl from last night
lying besides me, on that bed.
She had her extras off on the dressing room table display,
She woke up saying, "good morning bae," and I went on exclaiming, "eeeyy"

She offered me breakfast, but I decided it was best
to break fast out of there.
She begged me to stay,  as her one charming prince,
but you know I didn't even care.

I wasn't too sure which neighbourhood I wound up;
but it was rather me getting **** in unfamiliar corners,
then getting bound up.
******* in a relationship that I never signed up to.
Maybe I had too much to drink... with both drinks and her
kisses by the mouthful.

How the story goes, and soon ends,
All in the story of events.

All the shortest summers,
I compare a love to a beautiful day,
Tempted temperatures; this artistry close to lust,
There's a careless wind of having nothing to say.

But summer's a bit short,
by these winter chills down my spine,
You leave so lovely; missing a bright complexion,
And of course; that lovely bright smile.

All that's fair; but feels dimmed, and trimmed,
Cut off from your love, I held to my very last,
Opened my eyes to yours; to feel I once dreamed.

But I do scare of beauty's fade; coming to our age,
When all our possessions are but empty, and cold,
Children remembering us as shadows under shade.

Time grows. And I've grown deep roots into love,
But love often is this constant battleground.

But I'll be one keen to fight all for you.

My daddy warned me; not to stay up late,
But how could I not cry, when the world looks
So much better inside of that screen?

My daddy never told me why, because we
were too busy crying.

My daddy warned me; not to give up on my faith,
But how could I not decide, to let go of faith,
When we’ve all lost our ways?

My daddy couldn’t hold his own,
With all the weight of the entire world.

All these tears, have run dry,
And I’m just bleeding out of my eye,
And it’s so hard to cry, knowing your soul has died.
All these tears, have already died.
Already died, already died, already died,
I don’t feel alive.

My daddy warned me, not to be so lazy,
But how could I not sigh, at any movement,
Feeling like we’re all about to die?

My daddy worked himself to the bone,
All with nothing of his own.

My daddy warned me, not to give up on dreams,
But how could I not tell him, we’re all feeling scared;
With so much pressure placed on our heads?

My daddy didn’t face all of his fears,
We're both running off scared.

But my daddy told me to, look up to the sky,
Even when I want to cry, with tears gone dry,
Someone is by my side, as Heaven also cries.

All these tears, are filled with life.
Filled with life, filled with life, filled with life,
And I’m still alive.

Under the tears of sun
burned by light,

Touched by desire
and filled with fire,

I am bright as
a son of a sun.

bought crushies for a crush;
but she told me I was just a friend,
a brother on the hush,
pouring out how her boyfriend got back together
a few days after they broke up,
i had a crush on a crush that crushed my heart,
a crushing feeling.

People do take off their shoes
to walk all over you,

Loved ones do take off their shoes
to cross your mind,

Things do take off their shoes
to be running thoughts,

Dreamers do take off their shoes
to get a step ahead,

And the brave ones do take off their shoes
to always stand out.

I much take off my shoes
to be outstanding.

Now how do I put it into words,
Explaining a feeling I've never felt before,
A little piece of love; making me yearn for more,
A richly deserved taste of it's brewing love,
Inside of my cup; sometimes in a long mug,
The steam tickles my top lip hairs, I stir, and stir,
Sip, sip, careful not to get burned.

That little *** is boiling over the stove,
It whistles proudly; of my warm heart for my love.

Pulling the draw; grabbing a spoon, three teaspoons
of sugar, a full spoon of coffee, and the hot water I pour.
Oh! Looks like it's a bit to bitter, so let's grab the sugar
and add one more.

Warm blanket, warm thoughts, a warm paper,
and pen, then my warm words.

Warmth. Warmth is all I can describe of my
love in words.

Kisses don't last forever,
lipstick scars on my collared shirt;
sweet perfumes sinking into my neck.
Searching for a rush,
there's a rush out there looking for me.

Let me play my tongue on you;
just like I love to play with my words.

Lust of rush; my eye on a crush,
She's a crushing feeling; as when my cheek
bones hurt every time I blush. Plush; so richly
filled and lush. Could I love you as a must;
But a piece of you is far too much.

Do you...

Indulge in all of those senses;
As my sense of appeal is to be the one who
stole your heart. I'm much made of steel;
heavy weighed inside of my pants.
But why be quick in our advances; let's have
a little romance. Pick out our cards at every chance.
I'll play your King, with just few plays with my hands.

A squeeze; you feel the weakness on your knees,
each time I wrap around your neck.
And proceed into those long kisses that steal your
breath. Bite you down like an enemy; be tender
to all of those marks like a friend.

But I'd soon forget, of which of us gets naked
first; before pulling the covers of the bed.
I'm sitting on the edge; grinning at a striptease
doing in my head.

I can't pretend, that my skins aren't hair raising;
lips craving, body shaking, and I'm embracing
the embrace of me driving my destination inside
of your place.

But these are the thoughts on the road:
of what's about to come.

I'm still on the way.

Ocean lines,— under those eyes;
and lovely tears of their blue.
I took a bite of your fruit; cherry lips,
red passionate desired kiss.
Smooth skins of curves; peaches compliment
the plums. Passion fruit, a sour grape mix;
of bitter sweet love at times of you.
A basket case; I'm the fool neither less full of your fruit.

It's under your shoes; glass pieces of hearts
you step on with your high heel boots.
The cracks of sound are the proof;
of your quickened harshness to be my abuse.
I'm no use,— of not being the type used to you.
Scared of a cost to being scarred by love;–
so sacred of you, and all it's holy oxygen in the room.

The atmosphere does change;
but never more like your shades.
I'm stuck in empty pages; trying my best to read into
you. Oh of how the longings I have to meet,— on that
particularly day past a pens dreams painted in ink.
Cornered by love, if when I'm dared to walk on it's street.

The sweets nothings on repeat;
the few awkward hugs, handshakes, speed dating,
and those meet and greets.

Best to find love,— before it comes hunting for
me.

L-O-V-E

Looking Out Very Enthusiastically.

Crackling; it cracks, and cracks,
shaking the centre of glass,
Shaking the voice of words to comprehend.
As like in the ocean's centre,— undermined of where
it begins or ends.

Falling to the ground; a strike through darkest
weary clouds. It falls to the ground; loud as Lucifer
had fallen out of Heaven,— as with all those angels
kicked out.

Rumbling, and rumbling, falling lightening like
mountains. Rocks that are tumbling, tumbling,
and tumbling to crush.
A crushing feeling is on my skin; peering through
clear glass shadows.

The first echo of thunder; has left a crack on my
windows.

i seen a dog bite it's tail today;
a silent reminder of chasing things left
behind, is the cause of you being stuck in
circles.

stop chasing a past more than looking
ahead to the
future.

I'm too full of a fool; (in love)
death do us part, love you to death,
That's a coffin built for two,— some of me, some of you.
Why cry like an ocean; when your favourite
colour is blue?

There's a shade of yellow; particularly
in the back of your eye... so bright knowing; thinking
about you; (my brightest idea)

I'm alive; in a live performance of watching you
move my heart in motions. Motion pictures;
you fill with films of your story.

But if only...

I wasn't a writer of my imaginative;
a painter in the mind of what if's.
Being good at writing about love out of love;
this is poetic madness.

It seems;

Easy to say, "I love you"
But not to say why,

Easy to say, "I value you"
But not say for what,

Easy to say, "I'll always be there"
But not say for how long,

Easy to say, "I care for you,"
But somehow not care enough,

Easy to say so many of these things;
But still not easy to follow through.

Dear darling.

I'm staring at the sun, with the light
in between your eyes; and this feeling inside
of your bright smile. Summer kisses, caught inside of
it's denial. And the filled cases of your love; trying not to
lose this trial.

It's those lips that shapes that smile; those last skins giving
depth to those thighs. And writing about you; that helps
me with these rhymes. I'm in the directions towards love;
I'll meet you by all of the signs. I'm found; but it's a new love
I still need to find.

So by the end of this short letter line,
my penned down emotions are red signed.

Sighed,

A red love you and I will find.

As in this night,—
Under the moon's calm glow,
I found a sweet Jasmine,
Riverbeds of colour resting in flow.
She's mine of great beauty,
Mine of owning my last hoodie.
A jasmine flower of my incapacitated,
Do you understand my love to you so?

Far as it appears. You are here;
You are near,— Of a white day,
Peace being a ballet display.
Constantly dancing in my eye,
Capturing all of sight.
I held on; holding on longer,
As long in your shortest life.

Oh Jasmine, I failed to make out of you a wife.

Love be the nearest, love be the furthest.
I see an ***, doing the donkey work of to be earnest.
The self identifying; of those among truly purposed.
A garden of roses in carousel; rowing around a carnival park,
Ice cream stains, candy moustaches, brands tomorrow's marque.
People giving loose handshakes; lost it's grip to their love. Their once true love,—
Of all the hateful glaring eyes looking down on us. And what they told us, to then give up.

But love in the nearest? Is of things I hold closely.
As in it's furthest; are those coldest nights I feel so lonely.
Like bare toes inside of the snow; their feet are too cold to move.
Which of my souls do I anticipate to be holy or holey; of my old red shoes?
Glaring, teasing, laughing, shaking, commenting, and pointing,
I expect of others looking at them,— judging my worth at these worthless red shoes.

For a love had. I walked the nearest. And too walked the furthest.

Tall glass towers; on mountains of golden lakes.
An island of ten million dreams; blinded by the lights
of life. Heaven is a time like no other, as nothing has
an end. But all of it's residents have met their end.

Phased by the breath of tens of labours; the works of my
hands. I built glass memories, so fragile of remembering a
tragic past. All that is wasted; wasting away in thoughts.
****** as my hairs in the morning. Some on my neck, of
having their rest on my pillowcases.

A heavy throat, and it's husky voice. Mmh mmh; clearing it
to speak into a day. This morning is a timeless piece of whisky;
strong as the first swallow of belief.

Do I...

believe of any goodness ahead of me for today? A chance of better wealth to add some weight to a wallet? Meeting my potential love; as they're waiting out there?

But when, and how far are all of these things?

Who are the fools to know; all of the wisdom of ancestors
of where they should go? My forefathers have been at this place before. I do suppose; that I am progresses living words.

Onwards, forward, towards, heading, advances, going to
the places of what progress asks of me to go.

Love and lust;
tell me what's the difference, when both
things give me such a rush,
Swore we wouldn't be any of these things;
but aren't we all so quick to cuss?

I talk too much;
can't bite my tongue on words, unless
if I'm not able to pay for our lunch.
I once took out a girl; hoping for a chance
to cuff. Hoping not to get declined on both
my intentions, and brand new swipe card's bluff.

Being in love sometimes *****;
when you're getting blasted for not checking up.
Meeting up; 'I'm a little busy today, but I swear
by tomorrow we'll do some catching up.'
But we're back to the part of going to cuss;
and I've had so many catches, but I'm the one
still catching up.

Let me butter you up;
have you out to spread with open legs,
As I'm tempting myself so close to lust.
Here comes the rush, as the sweetest kisses brim;
overflowing out of my cup.

Our minds are about to erupt;
we both know what's coming up, and what's up.
Seems so hard to stop; but I'm listening to my
spirit, causing things to interrupt.

Looking cute in my eyes of a pup;
every angle looking so plump, before
my head is rushing to pump. Just to dump
my confidence to peers that I'm not a chump.
That I know how exactly to cuff.

But I told myself to stop...

I've been so close in this game between
love & lust;
The hungrier flesh; skins wanting what
they want. But as for me; I'm not letting them have
their luck.

I'm not letting up.

I pray to my Lord; as the prey in this crazy
world, dressed in sheep's clothing of all
those wolves.
All lurking around with no good.

Shepherd guide me; I don't always know
where to go. Staff of mercy; disciplines hurt
of the rod, but keeps me on my track to God.

Teeth marks; and ****** holes in my leg,
went chasing on greener pastures. But instead;
I was caught down on my defence.
Wolves only see red; as they have their prey out as
a spread.

The prey prays not to be prey; by the longest
prayer of all the sheep's prayers.

The sound of a feeling; "I love you"
The touch of a look; "beauty brushing my eyes"
The scent of an action;  "smelling your intentions"
And the taste of a sound; "my sweetest nothings"

Love tickles all of these senses.

when the sunlight stays in that
bright smile of yours; i hope for it's day not
to end,
like tears in the ocean; your beautiful
crying also gives me your
blue.

you're as beautiful as those two things...

The life of a lonely poet...

A product of the moving circus,
a round of games in endless circles;
I'm still searching for purpose with a pocket
full of dreams, and old family curses.

That's me; like the tree of my family;
quick to leave when there's no options after plan B.
On a money diet; counting ribs of poverty,
in these busy restaurants; dreaming to swipe for meals
with my eyes closed honestly.
It's been so long; since I've been in a space of thought
were I actually belong.
Been a minute since I've written for so long; that the words
flow into a song.

The life of a lonely poet...

The skies of his life; turns a different shade of blue,
as he sees everything so beautiful in a different view.
The oceans must have kissed the tips of the sky;
all of which happens inside of his mind.
"I've got sometime to write," he tries to make the most of it,
over some work wi-fi.

Writing about a wife with his talented hand;
a love, a tradegy, a dream; mostly writing about
the things he kind of has or had.
Past tense; into future tense, but the present tense;
are all things being so intense.

The best painters of love, are those not in love,
just a picture in their head of love's sort of.
"I kind of; know how it feels,"
but a lonely poet is just writing to the audience's appeals.

Is anything real?

The life of a lonely poet...

So vicious; like the bites of those rough
kisses. That sinking bite on the lips, of a longest kiss.
So wet as two sinking ships; as the kisses are so deep.
He wishes he was writing for a physical Miss,
and having her straight after; and the taste of her lips.

Oh what a life of a lonely poet...

Now...

I can't sleep; because of it.
I can't wake up happy; because of it.
I can't breathe; because of it.
I can't move; because of it.
I can't eat; because of it.
I can't live; because of it.
I can't make new friends; because of it.
I can't be alone; because of it.
I can't deal with large crowds; because of it.
I can't be me; because of it,
But I'm not defined as a person; because of it.

I'm not worthless; because of it.
I'm not weak; because of it.
I'm not a fool; because of it.
I'm not an outcast; because of it.
I'm not less of a dreamer; because of it.
I'm not the only one suffering; because of it.
My life's struggles may be the cause of it,
But I'll do so many things because of it.

I'll choose to push on; because of it.
I'll choose to smile; because of it.
I'll cry at night sometimes; because of it.
I'll constantly be inspired; because of it.
I'll craft masterpieces; because of it.
I'll comfort others in the same boat; because of it.
I'll continue to be the advocate for change; because of it.

And my depression is the cause of many things;
all the good, bad and moderate.

As all you see of me; is because of it.

Hope swerving; bending my thoughts of life
in it's curving lane. A game of gain, that not everybody
wants to play. Escaping from the day, or days; looking
for change in these ancestral chains. These are the shackles, keeping me in constant battle. Wearing my weight as a satchel; I constantly have to dismantle myself; to reach the top of successes great mantle.

Life's a rattle; shaking you at the core. Follow it's lore; and
be careful not break all of it's many laws. You'll get so many scars, and sores. Opening moments, opening and closing doors;
as you constantly walk along on life's floors with your flaws.
Happy moments galore; but also the saddest ones creeping up
on the low.

You'll cry to the Lord of it all; His lifting spirit keeps you up
when the soul falls. He's a calming voice to all of His children
he calls. You'll be in awe, letting Him guide you to where you
need to go. A lot of what he does you can't ignore. "Be patient
child; there's a lot in store. Blessed are the poor."

There's no valley too deep, or it's mountains to tall. But life
has it's many walls; we all have to face. Cracking knuckles
a couple times, till that wall breaks. It's not a mistake, or a
place to misplace how far you've come from that starting place.
Whether from the maybe, or maybe not; of the choices you've made. We've each got our choices to make.

Love grips the crowd like a glove. Some that are fed sweet nothings, while others starve. All the lights of these stars; like rushing traffic in space. Rushing like cars in a chase. Love feels like a rush of a race; trying to keep those emotions going straight in it's lane. Wild hearts trying to keep tame, with their hormones often the one's to blame. "Such a shame."

It's the rush of love; but is it enough to love someone more than you can give? To live only on the feelings love gives; wanting all
that's out there, but refusing to give in. Giving it at your best;
but ask a lover about their ex. They'd say, "my current is the best from the rest." What can you expect; of a lover's treasured love buried deep down in their chest?

An itch at the neck; nerves telling me to double check at my deck. Just in case my next play has me going, "what the heck!"

What's my next calling card in this play game of gain? Seems I'm
back at it's start once again.

All of the sounds;
fading slowly into the background,
the sound of love; swish, only a rush nowadays.
Too many breaking up, down on their feelings
of being down on their luck.

Could make you go, "what the f..k"

But I heard they were looking for things
they couldn't find. Vroom, vroom.
Long trips at night; two kids driving down a hill,
about to live their life. Making out with one hand on the
steering wheel. Stirring their will; with tough love bites
leaving a wheal.

Mxwah, mxwah.

"Let's just enjoy the thrill,"
following each other's commandments. They both know the drill;
of hanging their clocks, with some time to ****.

Chirp, chirp.

Birds in the early morning of the season;
deep emotions their love has; but they keep on swimming.

SPLASH!

"Do you think this feeling will last," she had to ask.
In the relax of paradise; with no memories to
the past. Past the times of counting seconds to finally
meet.

Tic Toc,

Waiting by the corner of her house; waiting for him to
pick her off the street. They kiss to greet. Tss.
They give one on each other's cheek.

Sip, sip.

Of that strong black coffee at their favourite café,
they've been there a couple of days; and it's become
their favourite place. He licks his lips, "I need to ****"

Vvvvrrr, vvrr, splat. Splash!
goes the vibrating tap; to give his hands a rinse.

I forgot to mention that baggage of bags under
their eyes. They've been driving all night.
aauggh, he quickly yawns.

Where has the time gone; felt like they've been stuck
listening to the same song.

The envelope message of eloping away from their parents,
they're living so careless. A couple more miles from a
borders freedom. She's breathless; while he's restless.

On the highway, his eyes pull down; and the car pulls
away to the side. CRASH! BOOM!

Nobody is left alive. Just the sound of a risky love, and no
sounds of life.

Now all we have is the sound of silence.


                                                  END­

Love sticking to my side,
it's a sidekick,
I could hear all of your thoughts,
maybe I'm just physic,
Just loving the quiet moments on the bed;
music in the back, and a mix of playlists. I
know you'll definitely like it.

Like how; were not talking; but
listening to each other's thoughts.
Resting heads; in our company of vacations,
who needs the resorts?
Getting lost with my words; when I found you,
red cheeks; long texts at night, falling asleep
online. Till the messages both turn blue.
Calvin Harris fans; both screaming, "I feel so
close to you"

We're both on the moon; reflecting on
our bright moments of life. Getting stuck in between
time, kissing you in the afternoons. In between
working hours; having you for lunch. My bosses
are out; so I'm pressed for pressing my luck.
Take your time to strut;
you still don't have to do too much.

Just let me enjoy you; enjoying being you.

the moon is blue over the ocean,
her tears that fills the hole,
now reflecting what it is,
a blue blur,
so sad; but so hard to see.

Reoccurrence; oh do I deserve it's again? Of love,
of time, of hope, of faith, of promise, and the beauties
of my yesterdays...

Reoccurrence; oh do I deserve it's again? Of grace,
of joy, of peace, of forgiveness, and the dreams of
my former slumbers...

Reoccurrence; oh do I deserve it's again? Of you,
of when we once loved, of our youth, and the desire
of a forever...

Of us; in the seasons of summer. The warmth of knowing
your bright smile. Of the spring; in the skips of steps towards
a future.

Do any of which; ever reoccur as like memories... Or are we
just moments; soon to be forgotten..

Will I reoccur in those memories...

Making appearances; in all of the experiences in this crazy
life. Sigh! I can't wait for the end of the show; the curtain
call to their standing applauds. "Oh what a show"

Raise up the glass; and let's forget about the past in this night,
like it was all our last. I sit back and laugh; smiling about the
few true friends I can count on my hand. I'm a slave to the trend;
of dreaming about the beginning to my end.
I've never been to the end of my life's journey, but it's a place I'll one day have to go. "Oh what a show"

The caught in between moments; running cameras, except in these darkest moments. At times feeling like the loneliest. Cheesy writings; melting on the knobs of being the corniest. And I'm about to be the bomb in the near future; with my successes about to blow. "Oh what a show"

Telling all of my kids, "there's a couple of girls I should have kissed." Kiss them goodnight ; after telling them my life's story
just for me relive. Give them grief in the morning; when Papa
can't wake up on his feet. And how I die, better be the same way
I lived. In peace. My death would be my family's low, but a higher place is where I must go. "Oh what a show"

So here's my final curtain call. I hope they'll all enjoy that show.
Holding weight on the wait to give their applauds. Hold onto
yourself, your words, your all and soul. Let me say my final goodbyes; just before my time to go.

And let me give them all a show.

Please pardon me; when I say, "it's all of me, all of me."
That's just the pride that swallows me; every time you love on
me, hug on me, each time we're cuddling, and snuggling. The
pretty scars look so ugh-gly; and that's not what I want my love
to be; honestly.

Making me wonder, "what the F," of the effort I'm taking; no
mistaking the fools of swine eating bacon. That's the charity
of clarity; giving your heart to all of the crowds, of all those
boys you met around. You've been around. Chasing circles
of where to be; as it seems. Dogs chasing tails; till it gets stuck
in your teeth. There's no peace, but the piece of sorrow; when your feelings were deceased. Diseased by the love sickness; as random kisses was the weakness to your knees.

I'm begging you please,

to stop pretending; that you're not trying to save up your worth
overspending; never-ending story of the people having the seconds of love's sequel. I'm a prequel to thought. What words are in the courts. All the illegal things that we bought; while breaking a few laws. I'm now allergic to a thought, of you giving me goosebumps in my pores.

I paused...

So you could stop playing my heart. Love loves to play with my
heart.

I paused...

Love loves to play with my heart.  Tell me when does it stop?

Fair;
as the skins
of solid ice,
her cold shivers; to a loving
touch.
A whisper of beauty;
only heard by
the eyes
gazing on her.

Too many to count on my hands,
too many to have, too many to make
me happy, mad or sad.
Too many girls in the land, I don't
always understand.

But what's the world without them,
what's a nine out of ten; if this world isn't
truly complete without them?
Some as friends, not too many as lovers.
But so many who taught me how to be a
good hugger.

They give me fatigue,
they stick to my side like the flesh to my flesh,
bone to bone of those potentials to my Eve.
The sharpest memory, of when I do them wrong,
who had, to have me falling in love with them,
and a corny love song.

What's the world without them;
driving me crazy. But we also go crazy
for them.

Running up the time; while running away
from all my crazy thoughts.
How much time would it take to get to heaven,
climbing up a clock tower? A lot!

And if I fall,
do I hit the ground, or will I soar?

As I swore not to waste anymore time,
but I broke that promise; wasting more time in
the above line. But fine!

I guess I'll be like time:
not a lot in the best moments.
Rushing myself with all of the time in the world;
but never to hold it. Or own it!

A thousand clock towers;
still feels like I never have enough time.

In a lonely room; walls feeling like mirrors
in every empty corner.
Reflecting, on cringey moments,
points for past arguments. And of course, enjoying
the benefits of being the casual loner.

Pulling myself to the self doubts for tomorrow,
"will I wake up in the morning," the question
I have before I rest my head. I say a silent prayer;
and maybe try not to focus on death.
But instead, my focus is the pretty petty moments
of life; soon to fade like a flower.

The greatest overthinker when I'm all alone,
balancing insecurities, pleasure, and life's pressures.
Music of past songs, still ringing in my buzzing ears.
Phone full of playlists setting the mood for what face
I'm sleeping with tonight.
And wondering which one of my dreams I'm living to
be leaving for a successor.

Yes sir!

My mind alone; takes me further from home,
when I'm all alone.
So quiet in there, that you could drop a stone and
it would echo down to my soul. Entertaining the
crowd of shadows peeping through the window.
Tree branches digging into the walls, with my bed
in the middle.

I think about love, I wonder about hope.
I yearn for calm, I search for control.
I fight battles alone, I set my life's next goal.
I motivate my soul, and I push myself into being whole.

All of which happens in the dark room,
sitting on my own.

Okay...

Finding my ****** expressions without makeup,
Fixing my heart when girls say, "let's just break up,"
Figuring out my next steps when things start to shake up,
But I really get annoyed by the nice people we meet; saying,
"let's just f**k"

Oh what is this life; and what am I living for?
Giving all the pieces of your life, but it always wants some
more. As I'm senseless to the less sense of my interests to
my less cents. So reckless to my repentance; and a wreck to
all of life's pressures.
Weighing myself down on all it's measures. How to be strong
with yourself, with all of these offered pleasures?
But we all know nothing lasts forever. Still a chance of having
it now, could make things feel a little better.

Okay...

Still the lover; longing for a love to actually love,
Stuck with food for thoughts; but it feels like my wisdom
is still keen to starve,
Searching all of the skies, for all of my answers from the above,
Scheming on all of my luck to success; with the few of my cards,
But the game of life is always so hard.

Okay...

Where am I going, in these night trips to nowhere,
Who knows their final destination, only after their death's despair,
Why is life this constant carnival game, paying a fair to being
so unfair,
When do I show face to face my challenges, if I dare?

And this is all the okay to the okay, the day after today. Two
days into choices of Tuesdays. But no matter the day;
it's always a battle to just seem okay.

And that's okay...

I remember long texts, and shy long
calls at night; over the limited Wi-Fi.
The rosy cheeks, stomach knots, and awkward
laughs when I was referred to as, "my guy."

"My mans, baby, and the occasional cutie,"
usually after I say something sweet. And making
those gestures at tasting those lips.

The angry rants, unplanned arguments,
unnecessary jabs, soon after the honeymoon
season is gone. The long cries, silent treatments,
and cold shoulders. The missing each other afterwards,
and making dues in maturity, for it grow much older.

Saving up for those dates, cringing afterwards
because of my table manner mistakes.
Coffee for lunch, couple pictures for dinner,
and posting statuses that people can't get enough of.
And the few who got sick of us being love sick,
posting another picture for the week.

The first feeling of love;
oh what a rush. From awkward friends,
into a crush. Head nod greetings, into longer
hugs. How could I forget that feeling of the first
time being in love?

My first feeling of love...

Cuts at the grass, in these fields
of abundant life. The beauty of little; is
the most we'd all appreciate.

And as I yield in the fields of their many flowers.
Beauty, is the something only belonging to the
particular eye. A keen to thought; as you tell yourself
'he or she, is so lovely,' in your head at first.

And as the sights capture your words,
the experience of beauty has you in it's grips.

Oh how an experience lasts a moment with
experience. The beautiful moments I've had;
how could I ever lose the experience?

The experiences of love, and heartbreak. Of healing,
and hurt. Of wholeness, and brokenness. And of having,
and not. The beautiful moments I've had; how could I
ever lose the experience?

I am the present character, from past experiences.
And the future character, from what I've learnt from
present experiences.

Behind the clouds, the sun still shines,
Behind the pains, my sunshine still shines.

Just give it time, the clouds will go away,
Just give it time, it's going to be okay.

Be the sunshine, you always are today.

A story of spheres,
I'm wondering who fathered who; in the darkest
kisses all under this moon.
Oh, is the truth as clear under the sun, in the eyes
of the lonely son? Daily are the games of fun, running
away from troubles. Chasing a shot to success, like we're
all chasing a gun.

But I'm into changing thought. Like the days
that must come and go. Everything changes under
the sun that kisses the Earth.

But in all the wonders of the sky, and it's reason
and wonder. It all begs this question of, "why."
In this night, his lover is so bright, gazing upon
all of her lightness. She slowly fades out of his sight.

Wedded to his only bride, days setting,
kissing her goodnight; every time he brings
her a good morning. Saying hello as she's saying
goodbye; hurting him more in their only first sight.

Feels like a similar to my life.

"You're a pretty flower I can't hold,"
he sighs, just pondering at her marvel,

"Of the sweetest of things to behold;
you're always the one touched by my light,"
his love reflects, watching it all go to another.

"Why so, must I be allowed to watch;
as you're shining it upon my brother,"
as the story of spheres goes.

Alas, I'm often the son of the sun, in these daylight
thoughts. Anger burning my skin's surface;
but what comes in between happiness and self worth?
Successes of things I'm still chasing from birth, and
running around in three interlinked circles.
I just go back to myself in the first verse.

Again into daylight thoughts.

May your eyes;
be bright towards the future,
Your past;
only but a memory in the shadows,

Your dreams;
as so bold to move mountains,
Your goals;
as precise as the targets you set,

Your hope's song;
as loud as many heavens roaring,
Your day's courage;
be the first step of chills to hell,

Your words;
the very worthwhile of the mind,
And your echo;
be the reflection of a heart's love,

As I bless all the eyes,
of this poetic piece.
And many more blessings,
upon all my fellow poets.

Black nights; up the mountain's time of 36 hours,
to tell a princess, "I'm just passing by."
She's hidden away in her tower, at the highest
point for storms to feel like light showers. By the hour,
doing her hair, for a knight to love her of her bare.

Vulnerable to a kiss, she's never really had. Everything
is a first, until she's got the permission from her dad.
She's so sad, just watching the peasants below. Listening to the
only music of the wind that will blow. Fair and beauty, rare and
cruelty, usually of the one King's rule so unruly.

But truly;

can the simple love the complex? Trading commas, just for the
compliments. It's not love if it's meant to be trapped by the
love that made one so lovely. A heaven sent goddess, so godly
unlike those who don't believe in anybody. Oh what a story, of the song. These lyrics filled of trapped lover, in the set up of
everything going wrong.

The bravest of the bunch, was the boy who spent hours kissing her behind her house. A love in secret, a fatal attraction, to a
fatal accident, on Death's wish list. Two skins of different tones,
she might have all the money to own the world. But boy did
she make him feel like everything in it, she could tell him,
"it's all yours"

But way to many kissing dilutes the taste of arising troubles.
As he had way to many, that he took a chance to snuggle.

Bang, bang!

There's this palace's King banging on the door. Caught them both
without their clothes. Better get up quick to run, ahead of the
bullet of that upcoming gun. He went out of the window, forgetting the heights he once had to climb. Fell in love, just to
fall into breaking his spine.

36 hours, the story came to an end. 36 hours was all the time
she had before it went. 36 hours later, and her only knight
was dead.

36 hours was all they both had.

The Apple of season in a nearby garden of Eden. What if I found my Eve, to share my seeds? In the odds of love, I might find it, to call it all even. As wherever I plant myself, the character shows. In a world filled with weeds, and roses. The harshness is really just people's thorns.

I might fertilize my imaginations; for all my offspring's dirt.
Just to give them a better start, to live on this Earth. A tiny mustard seed, that nobody expects. But when you make it big, everybody is throwing their respects, and claiming you're the best. Like Adam to his Eve; I do my bad, and have to leave.
Even when I'm on my knees, I feel I don't pray enough if they don't bleed.

But maybe like Eve to her Adam; life goes on when things are tragic. Sharing the Apple of sin, as the story goes. We all know that conclusion, because it's all already happened.

Still we learn from the happenings of what once happened. The only bite I'm willing to share; is the bite of passion.

Let the seeds grow; of their fruits that will show. And if the bad fruits are too many, I guess the tree has to go. But from how far these offspring have come, there's still hope for us all.

Now it's time to grow!

The golden mile warrior; speaks treasures on his silver tongue,
and bronze teeth. Like the echo of a gun, only after, the
the true event begins. As now the crowd is disturbed from it's  natural peace.

He's desperately trying to drown an ocean, as so pointless
as the inkless tip of his favourite pen. He faces the endless
journey to nowhere. With all the time in the world, to waste
it all again. The drops of tears, and blood in the ice of his parent's
cold words. "You'll never amount to anything," they've always said.

Where dreams lie, are those resting on them a thousand slumbers until the kiss of their charming. As the fear of waking up to soon, ironically is always so alarming. For if you kept on being called a nothing, all you'd dream of is being some what
of a something.

Something of a fool, somewhat of a tool to all their opinions.
Raised by the sun, for the brightest of all his ideas. But taught by
a moon for hiding them all in the dark. Well, reflective of one's limelight, the falling rock hoping to be a shooting star.

A fancier of an easy silent death. The fall into a maddening decent, and enjoying that ride right until the end.

A story of a million endings, but only a few he's willing to choose. Bending your back, bending all of the rules. As he'd try to fit in the crowd, in all of their shoes.

The people pleaser, of those who take for granted his help.
I remember him enjoying to cut himself. By the chance he lost the feeling to feel any hurt. As when you've been criticised by
an opinion's roast;  you get so used to being burnt.

I feel sorry for this warrior, but that would mean I feel sorry for myself.

The battles of which he faces, are those outside. But the war he'll always face, is that never ending war inside of himself.

The story of the Teenage warrior...

All that I have, isn't all that I wish to do.
Oh how the faithless are faithful to
being unfaithful.
As in turn; the ugliest truths are beautiful
to the ears of a true friend.
Oh how the rich have plenty to give. But what
more can they receive?
We value more; that we've slaved to pay;
but would treat differently, something for free.

All that I have, isn't all that I truly want.
Oh how the needs are so little to their wants.
And only in life's tribulations, do we then consider
all of our needs.
Oh how they know me for I, but not for me.
All that you have, others would want a piece.

All that we are, isn't all the words said to be.

I am all that I am;
is all of me.