Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Mar 2018 NourCreationz
Shannon
there are days where I sit and stare at myself in the mirror
picking apart every little flaw, every extra roll and
every bit that's not the right shape or colour
and I think, almost religiously,
that I am not good enough for you.

Becuase the truth is that I'm not.

You deserve sunshine and flowers on a summers day,
not a work in progress as dull as a winters night.

I say this to you and you pull your lips together with a sad smile,
look down at me
say
"But what if I prefer winter"

My boy that is not the point.
All I do is make you worry and I wanna be your sunshine but I just don't
think
i
can
be
that

yet

I'm a work in progress.
Incomplete
I was shattered just before we met and putting the pieces together
is
killing
me

And the things we don't talk about
things we shelve for a conversation in the
future.

involves things that only
"I love you"
might be able to fix.

through everything
recovery is hard
and each and every day is a choice
I need to make
to be better
and
I'm not always strong enough to make that choice.

I just want you to understand
my boy
my lovely amazing
perfect
boy

that sometimes I don't eat
and sometimes I want to die more than not
that anxiety is a being that rocks me
and sometimes I need the rush of pain
from scrubbing hard at my skin
or dragging a blade across it

it's not about you.
it's not something your presence is going to necessarily fix












But i want to try for you.
Maybe i can't be your sunshine
but maybe
i can be your cup of tea
your jumper
your girl
wrapped up in your bed sheets
on a cold winters night

you once said you had no problem
helping me pick up my messes
and if you stand by that

ill be your girl.
In whatever season you want me.
  Mar 2018 NourCreationz
Becca
It's been a long time since I've heard your voice. I'm forgetting what it sounds like now. The only thing that can take away any pain and sadness. The only thing that can make me happy. Your voice can calm the sea. You'll never know what it does to me. I miss your 2am calls, your raspy voice telling me that I'm your forever. Falling asleep to the sound of you saying, "I love you. I love you. I love you. To infinity and beyond." I bet you don't remember the calls that had me crying in the corner of my dark bedroom. Telling me that you can no longer take the pain. Telling me you wanted to die. Hearing you cry and scream at the world for what it's done to you. That's a sound I'll never forget. Thousands of miles away, I felt so helpless. All I could say was, "I love you. I need you. I know it's selfish, but please don't leave me." One year later, I forgot what it sounds like to hear you say my name. Your laugh, your cries. I don't remember. Please remind me so I can sleep at night. The voice that used to calm my mind is now a distant memory. The same voice that used to put me to sleep is now putting her to sleep.
Life is so unpredictable. When you finally feel all is right, when you finally try to move on. Life is there again, set as a jigsaw puzzle. Some pieces just lying there, other hidden somewhere. And you have to set down again, trying to find the misplaced ones.
trying to put back the pieces
  Mar 2018 NourCreationz
Simoné
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
I kept chasing
you, as if
you were
a distant dream.
But dreams
are not always
dreams.
Sometimes, we have
nightmares too.
When did those dreams turned into nightmares? When did I stop believing in the magic of dreams?
Next page