In one of
my many
lifetimes, when
I was a child,
my dad had a
sprawling stretch
of land in
Missouri.
He had 200
head of cattle.
We used to run
the cows we
bought at auction
through this
shoot with wooden
beams that closed
on their necks.
My stepmom took
this gun-like object
and put an orange
tag in their ear.

My brother and I used
to play with this black and
white steer.
We called him old #56
because of the number on
his tag.
We chased him, and then he
chased us.
I felt bad for
him, the tag in
his ear.
I talked to my
dad about it.
He said if the steer
ever got lost,
we could find him.
I felt good about that.
I didn't want to lose him.

One night
the following summer,
we were sitting down for
dinner.
I hadn't seen
old #56 for a while.
I asked Dad where
he was.
He didn't say anything.
We were having
t-bone steaks.

As I write this,
my black and white
kitten, Bukowski,
bites at the pen and
tries to wrestle my
wrist as it moves across
the paper.
I'm glad that he
isn't a steer.

When your last days are here
all you will carry is what will  carry you too.
Your conscience.



Shell ✨🐚

a tear dropped
from the face of despair
and wove it’s way down
it’s entangled hair
weaving through waves
of dry dead strands
it untangled the knots
the braids and the bands
sliding ever so slowly
soothing out like oil
every curve and curl
of every anxious coil
straightening the stress
as it falls to the ground
shaking your head off the mess
let your hair hang down

i’ve grown cold, hateful, and bitter
from too many romantic failures
lost hope in happy endings
as i fall asleep sobbing and wake up crying
wishing it had been a nightmare instead of reality

i remember our last kiss
the sweetness of your lips
the sorrow in your eyes
as tears streaked down your cheeks

heartbreak is the cruelest and most beautiful of pains
welling unadulterated from the depths of a suffering soul
cry child, cry with all your heart and soul, let the tears flow
trying to wash away the pain that will never go away

i love you
je t'aime
te amo
said the little french boy
to the little mexican girl

"Kese banu me woh jo me hu
Koi esa jis se me bhi mukhtalif ** saku,
Yeh bhi to meri hi khamoshi h
Jo mujhse mujhi tak ka fasla janti h..
Yeh bebasi bhi lazmi h
Jo utni hi haqeeqat h
Jitni is safar me meri talash"