He is new
He is kind
He is caring
He makes sense
In a way that you never did

Life as I know it
has changed
ripped away from me like a child's toy
for one reason or another
they want to find out how we live
how we breathe
what our land holds
they simply want a new place to sleep
a new spot to lay their heads
one more dot on the map
They want to know how our god judges our actions and
oh
do we have a god and who are they
ar they the same as theirs because only their god matters
they are white so they are right
they want a say in who leads
they want us
They took a queen from Hawaii
Staked a claim in Canada
and oh
thirteen colonies
on the North American continent
we've been pushed down and bruised
given nothing to lose because
it's all being taken from us

This world disgusts me

This world disgusts me because
when I see my best guy friend cry
I get weirded out
Not because guys crying is weird
but because I've always been told
they don't

this world disgusts me because
when I mention to my brother
that girls liking girls
is okay
he lists all the reasons
Jesus says it isn't

This world disgusts me because
I have to text one of my best friends
and make sure she ate today
because she wants to lose
ten pounds
and she'd give anything to do that

This world disgusts me because
when I sit in my
French class
and the teacher makes eye contact with me
and sees that I am crying
he keeps teaching, parce que c'est la vie

This world disgusts me because
when my chemistry teacher
looked at me and my friend goofing around
he assumes we don't feel the "academic stress"
when I cry over my grades three times a week
but he didn't ask me about that

This world disgusts me because
my brother, the same one as before,
refuses to call someone
we know
by their chosen name and pronouns
because "it's a free country"

This world disgusts me because
when I switch effortlessly between
sobbing and looking fine
my teacher calls me
"The finest actress he's ever seen" but
doesn't ask why I hide my emotions so easily

Disgusting

I finally got
My drops of blood
They didn't prove anything to me
I wanted to know that I was alive
To know that I was here
But they mean nothing
Besides that I am weak.
I am weak when you called me strong.
I am broken when you loved me whole.
Apology after apology
I regretted it, but I continued
One line right after the other
Red dash marks appearing on my skin
I wanted them to prove my existence
But they really just proved my fragility