Let me go one day
without looking at you, please.
Let me sleep one night
without the memories.
Let me stray from the dreams
that fail to make me happy.
And let me continue this alone.
Let me drown myself
in these tears you caused.
Let me stab my own self in the back
with these broken shards from my heart.
Let me shock myself
with all of the energy, I wasted.
Let me lose myself
in the darkness of my mind.
Let me melt
from the heat of my anger.
Let me freeze
from the coldness of your heart.
Then let me rip your heart to pieces
and destroy who I thought you were.
Then let me ask if we can still be friends.

we lay here
in our warm bed
under all of the blankets.
our hands find each other in the mess of sheets.
your soft lips feel like bare skin on velvet.
i lay my head on your broad, inviting chest.
it's just you
and me
and the warmth we emanate
and everything outside here
is hushed
all is good

I have raised you since a baby
Loved you more than anything else
Helped you in times of stress
Dedicated myself to you

But it wasn't enough
Im here without you now
Without your personality to lighting up my life

You are the best friend I've ever had
I can't accept that you gone
Passed on to another life
A place where you will be happier

I miss you my child
Please come back, come back home
Being here without you is soul shattering
And I can't do it anymore

I've been called many things
Unsavoury and unkind
Words that strangle what little hope
I've stored in myself
What little light
That's been left
A flame so heavily guarded
Yet barely burning

I've been called many things
Crazy
Sometimes I crumble within myself
Forgetting where I am
Who I am
Who I've been
Who I could be
Wishing I could just spotaneously
Not be

I've been called many things
Emotionally draining
How is it that I feel everything?
And then nothing?
Instantaneously

I just want to feel again
I just want to feel real
I just want to remember that
I'm more than these names
These things
These afterthoughts that
For some reason
You decided to impart on me

I've been called many things
Things I didn't want
Things that aren't me
Things that barely touch the idea of me

Among these things
These verbal illustrations of my personhood
Disconnect
Alienating and cold
Misconstrued and yet so sharp
Ambiguous yet so sure

I have been called many things
But never yours