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If you can stand the midnight black,
The moonlight night sky accompanying the full moon,
The shades of darkness in fading streets,
The dark stains of wooden shelters,
If you can stand the mud that colours your hand,
The dirt that makes up life,
The smudged charcoal on the visual artefact of an imagination,
The reflection of the melting dark chocolate in your eyes,

If you can stand the darkest of life,
The darkest of times,
The ultimate escape from sadness, worriedness, nervousness,
The darkest souls of Halloween,
If you can stand the thunder over its storming clouds,
The black anger, the venom, of the volcano
The rising smoke from its eruption,
The black dust seen in daily life,

If you can stand the colours of black in mime,
The melanistic colour vibrant of any big cat species,
If you can stand the blackest pupil,
The darkest reflection through the mirror,
If you can stand the breached black dusk,
And the darkest sides of life,
Why can’t you stand the dark-coloured me?
Being strong all the time
is a dangerous game of mine

I wish to be seen weak
But these walls does not letting me

I can not even cry anymore..

I wish to fall in tears
To let my soul get washed
Of all the fears

I wish to fall in tears
To be able to let it go
Of all the things
Face to face with you
My love only speaks truth
Inhale fire
Exhale desire
Shoulder to shoulder
I'll be your boulder
Lean as you may please
I love you in perpetuity
Dear Me,

I love you and
I know I haven't been fair to us
For most of our life really
I tend to let others lead me
Sway my desires
And otherwise dictate my life
I think I'm afraid to admit that I'm real
That I'm alive and a person
Due to our ****** up past
But that's not an excuse anymore
There are good things in life now
Top surgery in November
Our job has picked back up again
And we're experiencing grad school
I understand that life is scary and
That nothing seems good for long
But we can move towards happiness
Choose to see the good in things
Stop complaining and
Focusing on the bad things in life
We can grow together
Find ourselves
And finally find the best way to be happy
OUR best way
We got this
I love you

-Carter
I've been spiraling really badly lately, but I know it will get better and that I can make it better with time.

The room in starlight bathed
My body unscathed
Swimming indoors
sheets are shores

Wash over me like the tide
for I don't sleep at night
Swimming indoors
where it always pours

Moon reflection
on my cushion
Swimming indoors
following ancient lores

Diving deep to find
an Atlantis on my mind
Swimming indoors
til reaching the dream's source
 Aug 2018 Mydriasis Aletheia
S
there is so much beauty in our pain
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