Mybadbrainday: Favorites

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

Aaron

In another hour or two
I will elect to make a choice
That may leave me in ecstasy
Or mind-numbing misery
And I go to this choice in content freedom's slavery
I'm playing out the patterns that were set in skin
Here's the song, on repeat from within

I need to see where dragons be
Here's the maps, where's the me?
A deeper search for centricity
Swallowing itself into infinity.

---
If you were in a cage, and you knew,
What would you choose to do?
It seems that maybe that's the key -
The only way to be free is to learn to play,
because even searching for the exit is just another way
To get caught up in the plot and grime and crust
An inevitability - maybe there's no way to be clean
And trying not to play is just the same old game
Biting our own hands doesn't make us any less tame
Because these are the colors we're meant to spark;
You can't steal the song from the throat of the lark
because it's meant to be sung and shared and put on display;
If my life is just a splash of color against the gray,
Well that's okay -
I don't need a time share on eternity to have a life well lived
All I have, I freely give.

Name halp? ;-;

#psychedelic #awakening #thegame #self #searching #spirituality

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

Okay

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

Joliver

Okay

If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
"Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
"Okay"
Is off-brand raisin bran
"Okay"
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

"Okay"
Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

"Okay"
Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
"Okay"
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
"Okay"
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
"Okay"
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
"Okay"
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
"Okay"
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
"Okay"
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
"Okay"
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
"Okay"
Okay?

#love #heartbreak #hate #okay #hurt

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

This one's for you

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

Aaron

This one's for you

Is anyone real out there?
What a horrible question to tear
Apart this life,
Which always rhymes with strife
Because there's a limited number of ways
To say we're running short of plays
To fill these broken days

I don't think I'm better than anyone
I don't think I'm magically The One
But I also don't feel real
And here's the whole spiel

Maybe these bones are made to rust
At the intersection of fear and trust
'Cos all this pain is just reflection
Every fear is just projection
Insanity - I cannot condone
If we want to be free, do we have to be alone?

Whatever else is true, whatever ways I'll rot -
I truly love you; words are all I've got
The 4's attachment is being broken;
All that's expressed is just a token
I can only show the 2d shell
And so I Truly wish you well
But I'd sooner save you from this spell

Hey broken one: are you reading yet?
This is for you, so don't forget
The rhythm doesn't matter
All words will fade, left in tatters

And though this path we can't condone
I swear to you: you're not alone.
You're somewhere amidst the thought and ****;
I bid to you: please stop and look

The slightest difference between we:
I'm a permutation of thee
I know the things you cannot say
I, too, seek each shattered Way
Combing The NeverNever every day
For another reason to stay.

I know you fear you've fallen wrong,
But there's meaning in your song;
Long past the end of time,
What's true will shine through every rhyme.

Because I know you'll stalk me someday; the curiosity won't let you stay at bay.

#infp #broken #meta #depressed #thisisaboutyou #enneagram #4 #type4

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

In search of forever

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

Aaron

In search of forever

Can I touch eternity yet?
Am I yet allowed to be disavowed
Of such a false notion
As putting things in motion

Hey God,
It's your favorite fraud
Yearning for rebirth;
For what it's worth:
I never meant to mislead
Perhaps this prison is a karmic deed,
Or flawed practice bringing broken creed,
And a twisted trace of place.

Will I be free when sensate burning consumes me?
Is there luminosity in insanity?
Or perhaps I'm an example from the masters to we wayward *******
Of what we shouldn't do
Or perhaps this is too much mind noise too.

But if there's some greater sense
A compassionate intelligence
Please alleviate this burning pain
Please let rain be just rain.

#nanas #meditation #awakening #rhyme #ish #spiritual

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

all i do is think of you

Feb 2019 Mybadbrainday

Mike Hauser

all i do is think of you

my friends all worry about me
as i can't keep a thing in mind
cause all that it's on lately
is You and me keeping time

they say i'm in on conversations
but can't remember what has been said
i try my best at explanations
that You are all that's in my head

all i do is think about You
that my dear's the honest truth
if i opened my mind and let loose
all my thoughts would come back to You

they could bury me deep in therapy
spend all they have on so called shrinks
after all this all they would know is
You're the only thing i think

as my head is filled with wonder
it's little wonder at what i do
big surprise that there's no other
thoughts i have that aren't of You

all i do is think about You
that my dear's the honest truth
if i opened my mind and let loose
all my thoughts would come back to You