I'm not sad
just tired
I'm not hurting
just tired
"just tired" I say

I am tired
tired of apathy
tired of feeling alone
tired of failing after trying my best
tired of the same monotonous routine that bears no fruit
tired of being abandoned
tired of being ignored
tired of being told I'm faking it
tired of hiding myself

I wish I could fall asleep and forget everything
but everything is still there when I wake up

Sitting in my room
crying to Cavetown
for no reason
other than it feels good to cry

Sometimes
I feel like
the world
is
closing in
on me,
trapping
me
in a
tiny capsule
until I
suffocate

The breeze
took
your hand
and
blew you away
from me
leaving me
alone,
desperately grasping
at
empty air
where
your heart
was supposed
to be

I am thinking thoughts.
Thoughts that I think of every day
Thoughts that lead to other thoughts
I wish, I hope, I plead for them to stop
But they never do

I’m always thinking thoughts
Like a ball rolling down a hill
Around and around and around again
My thoughts are spiraling spiraling spiraling
Faster and faster they go more and more and more thoughts
They don’t end, they never end
Each thought growing more desperate like a child yelling above the din

LISTEN TO ME!

I can’t listen.
I can’t hear.
I am not the one in control.

I wish I could say
you made me happier but
my heart cries for you