The coldest night air
Seems no different than the
Space around the stars.

All the things I did weren't enough
If the person I once knew
Tries to find those on others
It just means that
Even if I try to do better
If I'm not the person that is wanted
It's always never enough

I've always been a little selfish,
a little spineless,
a little reckless.

I'll use anything as an excuse.
An excuse for the lack of -


                                      l  o  n  g  i  n  g.


God, I wish I could change things.

Ripping off- each bandaid,
salting every wound.

God, I wish there was another option.

I am closing all the doors.
I am pouring gasoline.

God, I am so sorry.

I've always been -
a little mindless.
Always shown -
a little too much kindness.

I've just never felt so flightless,
I don't really feel like -
I should fight this.

She was an angel, a radiant light too brilliant for my shadowed soul. And I—nothing more than a beast marked by scars, unworthy of her grace. Yet somehow, she found beauty in my flaws and chose to dance in the darkness with me.

The wall is strong and firm.
Its is truly well built.
Its exterior is very resilient.

But once a time:
A small crack it formed,
Crack my crack & one day a big hit;
That’s when it crumbled.

Piece by piece it broke,
The interior which was bottled up;
Finally broke down revealing:
Its vulnerable self.


It was fragile and frail.
Foreign to the world
Foreign to itself.

Sometimes lonely in a crowded room.
Sometimes too much in a lonely room.
It took time to be strong.
But to be weak? was impossible

It looks perfect when met first;
But given enough time you’ll see:
The messy side.
The patchy side.

Sometimes the wall is me,
As always and forever.

☼

i guess ive always had a thing for fire
standing too close -
letting the smoke suffocate me,
the smell latch onto me.
i know i might burn,
but it’s where i want to be -

ignited by all of this desire inside of me

I’m getting greys
at an alarming rate,
I already pulled at my hair.
“It’s normal” he says
I swear just to debate,
cause he doesn’t seem to care.

And I’m bleeding through
my scar tissued skin,
the layers only grew
still I find a way in.

I’m getting greys
at an alarming rate,
I’ll be down to the last strand.
Check or fold the plays,
the cards aren’t that great
I’ll be down the my last hand.

And I’m bleeding through
my thick nice sweater.
It’s a shame as it’s new
and we’re reaching the cold weather.
It will stain the soft fabric
I may just grab the bleach,
but I always made it a habit
to always keep it just out of reach.

I’m getting greys
at an alarming rate
pretty soon I’ll be bald.
On hot coals she stays,
though she shifts her weight
and watches her soles scald.

And I’m bleeding through
my clogged and blocked pores,
and the remaining few
are becoming septic sores.
I’ll shed another layer
of a non-protective bubble,
and my hair will continue to get greyer,
I think I’m now in some trouble.