Your seriously getting mad at me?
For trying to find something fun for the whole family?
Saying I'm being a bother, I'm such a liar
Why do you always get so mean?
No other opinions
No other thoughts
Gonna fuss and repeat yourself
When you could've just said
"No, we cannot"
Calling everyone crazy
When its actually you!
You also make mistakes and misremember
Just accept that your human, too!
I know I have my faults, my lies and such
But I'm just so tired cause I can't speak up
Gotta keep it all in
My mom signals me to "hush"
For patience, I'm just gonna pray
Cause the less I say
The less you do
I accept I can't say how I feel
Cause YOU'll NEVER LISTEN DUDE

The words sit
on the tip of my tongue--
Bubbling up from my chest and
Threatening the bust open the seams of my lips.
And I can't tell you how much it means to me
That you're feeling the same thing too,
And I get to be the stubborn one.

“I like you for your intelligence and beauty.”
2. “I’m not saying I have doubts. I don’t.”
3. “You can trust me.”
4. “I’m sorry.”
5. “You’re beautiful.”
6. “We should take it slow.”
7. “I’m sorry that I keep leaving you.”
8. “I appreciate you.”
9. “I’m sorry.”
10. “Just be you.”
11. “I just really want this to work.”
12. “I’m sorry.”
13. “I’m glad that you’re happy.”
14. “Did I say something wrong?”
15. “I just need my little piece of freedom.”
16. “See you tomorrow, my love.”
17. “I wish I was there for you.”
18. “I really enjoy holding your hand.”
19. “You looked really pretty today.”
20. “Today I accidentally wrote your name when I was supposed to be writing about something else.”
21. “I just feel constricted, that’s all.”
22. “I got your back.”
23. “I want you to do what makes you happy.”
24. “I can’t wait to see you.”
25. “I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your face.”
26. “If it moves quickly, everything will crash and burn.”
27. “I’m sorry.”
28. “Good morning, beautiful.”
29. “I wish I had more time off for you.”
30. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
31. “I’m sorry.”
32. “I just don’t want to lose you.”
33. “If you need me, I’m here.”
34. “I wish I could be with you right now so I could hold you in my arms.”
35. “You’re a good person.”
36. “I don’t know. All I know is that I love you.”
37. “Tell me what you’re afraid of. Please.”
38. “My heart races just thinking about you. I feel amazing around you, even though I may not seem like it. I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s the way you make me feel when I am with you.”
39. “I want to be there for you when you need me.”
40. “Cheer up, sweetie.”
41. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”
42. “I miss you.”
43. “I’m sorry, my darling.”
44. “Is breá liom tú.”
45. “I don’t think this is going to work out.”
46. “I’m sorry.”
47. “Do you ever have a good day?”
48. “I just lost interest after a while.”
49. “I’m sorry.”
50. “I’m so sorry.”

On this course we travel
Of love, life and the things between
We all go through pain and suffering
We all have our own battles
Our own regrets, our own dreams
But it seems to me
That we all just need someone to say
"I'm here for you"
Or
"I love you"
Something that simple can help us all get through
A hand to hold or a shoulder to cling too
Just having someone there
Knowing someone actually cares
That's what gets all of us through everyday
Through every path, every different road we take
And although we all make mistakes
We need someone to lift us up
Tell us everything will be okay

Take one look at me
What do you see
What do you feel
Do you know me
Are you a stranger
Are you my family
Are you my friend
It doesn't matter
non of it
Stay away from me
You don't need me
So stay away
Cause there's something I need
Blood
Screams
The look in your eyes when you see me
And all you see is your death
I've seen my death inches away from me
So many times
It's strange
Each time all i could think of was it's about time
Every day I lived
Was another day I was haunted
The screams in my head
The voices
The memories of all those who have seen me
The real me
Death
Being able to hear the screams
The voices begging for mercy
Begging for an end to the pain
How torturing those days were
God I loved those voices
The fact that they were only voices of the past and not the present
Such a tease

Listened to their screams as they tortured them
Such a petrifying sound
We sing songs of merriment as we march
Clear our mine of the pain
Exchange is with rage
Forced to watch as our bodies do what demons commanded
We watched them
Watched their bodies fall to the ground
Our eyes afraid to close
For in the darkness behind shows only the horror
Shows only the death
We must put guts over fear
Onward we go
Deeper into the fray
Our men not blind
See what Hell that awaits
Each already dead inside
There is no return
And still onward we go
We can feel the heat rising
Everything is on fire
Everything's a painful reminder of why we fight
It can only get hotter
Walking in the flames
Our bodies fire proof through rage
Our bodies buried by the blood of our women
The blood of our children
Can never truly be cleansed
For we carry them with use into the fiery crucible of which awaits
And while our flesh remains marked
Deeper into Hell we go
Our souls tainted by the pain of the innocent
The whispers of the evil
May our souls be purified
Cleansed in the blood of their killers
Glorified by the fruition of revenge
Onward we go

There are so many different things in this world
Things that make us happy
Things that make life worth it
How long will they last
How long before you lose everything
Before all your left with is an empty body
Your soul long dead
Every step you take
Just another mistake
Until the day you feel every breath you take is another mistake
Every tough you feel, seems so unreal
No longer in this world
Just fading in the shadow of what was
Still alive but barley breathing
Surviving but never living
Waking up thinking not that your alive for another day
But that your dying another day
Surrounded by friends
Always feeling so alone

Here I stand down by your window
Your curtains closed
I can here your music, its to loud for me to hear anything else
I have no idea who's in your room
It could be your mom
It could be anyone in your family
They all hate me
You could be completely alone
You could be with him
My heart racing i tap on your window
The music stops
The world goes dead silent
Everything slows down as the curtains start to move
I can hear my heart beat in my head
I can feel the blood in my veins pumping through my body
Then i see your face
Everything gets ten times worst
My head feels like my eardrums are about to pop at the sound of my heartbeat
Everything gets blurry
My chest feels like i'm going to its being ripped open
I get so light headed i'm about to fall down
I put my hand on the window
It freezing cold
A tear falls from my eye
The first time i cried since before our anniversary
The window gets warmer
I look up to see why
You put your hand on mine
My chest stops hurting
I can hear something other than my heartbeat
My eyes still blurry from my tears
I tell you "I love you
I want you to remember my last words"
You start to cry
I give you an address a date and a time
I look you in the eyes and tell you one thing
Trust me
Pull out a gun
And i end the pain
One month later on December 25 you go to the address
Its 5:47 in the morning
Your at an old tree house, my old tree house
You go to the door there is no door *** just a hole And three locks
Its pitch black inside the house
You see a piece of paper nailed to the door
A note
It says "put your hand in... if you trust me"
Your hesitant
You start to crumble the piece of paper as you try to think of what you do
As your crumbling the piece of paper you see that there are words on the other side
It says " I want you to remember my last words"
My last word, trust me
You take a deep breathe as you put your hand in the hole
You feel something
You grab it and pull it
Its a key
A key to the door
You open the door as you do you hear something fall
Its a flash light
You pick it up and look around the room
You the room appears empty
Then you see a composition book taped to the celling
The title says closet with smaller word under it, too small to read at the distance
You try to jump to get it
An hour past and you still able not been able to get it
Finally you think
You go to the closet and you find a step-stool
You grab the book and read the first page
It says  under your height
It takes you a while but you find out what it means and look under the step stool
you fine 6 more books taped to the bottom their numbered
Your read the first page of each
They all say what their about
Ones all my secrets
Ones about all my life  
Three is a journal that i wrote in every day since we were together
The last one was about you and all of my feelings towards you
On the back i a piece of paper
It says " I'm sorry i'm gone. I wish i could be there with you right now. I wish i didn't have to do all this, but i am, and theres so much i want to say to you. so much i wish i took the chance to, but i didn't so i did all this as an attempt to tell you in death what i wish i had in life. I love you, don't forget me". One more thing if i could do it all again no matter how much pain I would end up in I would do it again".