No voice could call
From my sandpaper throat.
The script written
In a watercolour ink,
Left the pages blank
After the rain.
Clutching a weathered branch
On an overhanging rocky ledge,
Legs dangled into the abyss.
Finally, a reaching arm
From the quicksilver mirror
Pulled me back
To the rabbit hole within.

There's a virulent disease
inside him. It pervades every
where. It invades him. The
toxic cells exist in every nook
and crevice. He starts wondering
whether his soul and body will
suffice and live through the
brutal treatments that await.
Radiotherapy or chemo. A
part of himself could be lost in the
pomposity and elaborateness
of the machines used to do so.
He lies on the bed, surrounded
by the ostensibly loved ones
who mourn now and who hated
him once. He looks back at
his life and feels that getting
back to his healthy, strong self
is a chimera. Days pass and his
bed is his sanctuary. The reports
from the doctors arrive and he is
all but stationary. He finds the
concept of reports funny. They
determine life and death in a
second and after that, life could
be jubilant or miry with hopelessness.
The reports clearly indicate that
"cancer was not detected". He
scoffs at the elaborate medical
language and sits back and
relaxes, concluding his close
call with death and an emotional mess.
Not letting the intimidation and
sinister nature of the diseases get to him.

truth
i miss you.
you were my breath.
you kissed me,
and it was like
a thousand butterflies
ignited in my chest
and my lungs provided the oxygen
that fed the flame.
your lips
were the wind beneath their wings
the wind beneath mine
i would be lying if i said
that i don't miss
flying.

lie
i hate you.
i never loved you in the first place
the same way that you never loved me.
i want you to feel the same pain
that i have
i want you to know that you are
the throbbing of my head
because i got drunk off of your lips
and i can't ******* escape the hangover
you were a propellor
and i was just a curious fish
who came too close and you destroyed me
i was happiness
and you were depression

truth
you assaulted me.
you ***** me
you tore out my heart
and you spat on it
because you knew how much i hated the feeling
of being worthless.
your head was the hunger
and i was your ******* cigarette
you burned me
and it made you feel good
and as much as i hate to say it
it made me feel good too.
you were addicted to the ash in your throat
i was addicted to the burning of my body
destroyed until i was nothing but your plaything
and i still ******* love you for it.

lie
i regret everything
the i love you's
the i'm sorry's
the hello's
i wish i never let you back into my heart
after you pillaged everything we could have been
i hated it
i hated the way it made me feel
when you waltzed right back in
after you betrayed me
i didn't feel any comfort
i didn't feel anything
but hatred

truth
we were a beautiful calamity
a collision of red and blue and white
blood, sky, and ice
that i saw once you knocked me down
and i couldn't help but stare
at the heart-shaped clouds
and think it was a message
that we needed to stay together
you were my destruction
you were my self hatred
you were my bullet
and i was your ******* blood
coursing excitedly through your heart
as you watched me writhe and die
when my heart gave out
from loving you too much.

My day was spent Here
reading, writing,
meditating and practicing
kung fu forms,
quite content Here in my
aging baby boomer bubble.

I know that Somewhere

a surgeon struggles
to save the legs of a child
blown off by a landmine
from some forgotten war

and Somewhere

a startled soldier
who never knew what hit him
slowly burns to death
in his mangled humvee

and Somewhere

a shy small Muslim woman
trips the timer on
her suicide vest
and walks into
a marketplace prepared
to die for her god,

but I have lived those lives.

Here and now,
I am no longer a man
of this century
or even this
dying digital world;

no longer
in the Somewhere,
Now content to
play out my hand,

to just be
in the Here.

  ~mce

Dream within a dream,
reality eclipsing dream
Dream devoid of reality,
nothing but a fool's dream..

Thorns in the path,
a journey to savour...
Not you who chose the dream, it came to you..

Hurdles of the path, knock you down
Haters deride & rejoice at your downfall,
Ridiculing you, cause they fear the fire inside you...

Lie down and lament about fate,
Stand up & march towards immortality
Upto you to decide...
Make the decision & never look back,
Nothing less than immortality will suffice...
No one less than "you" will be enough..
Live to rise up, look ahead never give up....

What a storm cloud
Making a mess of my land
Flooding my gardens
Drowning my fields
You and all your life
You with all this love
I would construct continents
Raise all your cities
Claim the unknown in your name
Just to hold your light
One ray at a time