I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Under a spotlight where everyone knew my name...
I was five.

Now, I want shadows and to be as far away as possible.
Hidden and far from consequence,
And even further from myself.
Where my name is not a name,
But just another word without any true meaning.

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Now, I want to disappear.

I should have jumped overboard when I had the chance.

at 4 in the
morning the sun
is never up
but i usually am

i worry
about things
that are out of
my control
even more about
things that are

get up early
when i work
and earlier
when i don’t
the older i get the
more i learn
sometimes you
need to cry it out

alone
at night
into your pillow
the blankets
wrapped all
around you

sometimes you
need to cry
and cry
and cry

until the morning
sun falls across
the tears dried
under your lashes

and the lump
in your throat has
dissolved so you can
breathe with ease

you need to get up
let hot water
wash it away
let the steam rising
from your mug soften
any sorrow left around
your morning eyes
take a deep breath
don’t mention it
to anyone

and
just
keep
going

i will
just
keep
going

A mere three years
Have passed since I
Joined this community
And I have found
My worst critic
Is always future me

Have you met the middle child?
Who cries alone at night,
while their parents wonder
if their siblings are alright.
Have you met the middle child?
Who smokes and sulks and swears,
because they know that if they didn’t
others wouldn’t notice they’re there.
Have you met the middle child?
Who works so hard to be smart,
who learned to be one step ahead,
before the others could even start.
Have you met the middle child?
Who feels so conflicted inside,
and is always told what side to show
and what side they must hide.
Have you met the middle child?
Either emotional or cold,
because they wanted people to see them
so they had to be bold.
Have you met the middle child?
Always lost in the inbetween,
trying to find help somewhere
but has already given up by thirteen.
Have you met the middle child?
For they are left behind,
trying to tend to their wounds
to which the others are blind.