I got sunshine on my back,
I used to wear a lot of black,
then I found I like the color
yellow.
I got sunshine in my heart,
if it all ends the way it starts,
I'd just like to say,
"hello",
and if the sun doesn't come out today
I like rainy days better anyways,
and if darkness creeps it's way back in
I'll say, "hello".
I got sunshine in my head,
bright ideas and messages,
I got nowhere, nowhere to go.
I got sunshine in my hands,
answers I don't want or understand,
I guess,
I don't ******* know.
But, if the sun doesn't come out today
I like rainy days better anyways,
and if darkness creeps it's way back in
I'll say, "hello".

In a perverse sort of serendipity
our friendship shaped itself
around our one common bond
when not even our closest allies
wanted to acknowledge
the elephant in the room.

When everyone else
in our little worlds
went on about their business again
you and I granted each other
the right to our indulgences,
a place to put the pain for a time.

Even in our mutual weakness
we mustered the strength
to pull each other
out of the murky depths
to that little pocket of oxygen
which would save us from drowning
at least for this one day.

We understood every nuance
of each others' private torture,
having walked  too many miles
in those same shoes.
No emotion was too intense
no thought too bizarre to be voiced.

And then our friendship
seemed to wane by degrees,
as if it had served its purpose
as if we never had much in common
except that one awful truth
informing our lives for a while.

I see us drifting apart, my friend
now as our grief has softened
and we've begun to open our doors
to the world outside that all-consuming pain
which once brought us together
but can no longer be enough.

Eileen Auger
9/27/09

Drug glazed eyes

You don't see me

Wish You Did!

To My Lover,

I do not need you to live
As you do not need me
You are my friend
Someone that I can lean
But know that I will not give up on who I am
Please stay true to who you are
There is only one of you
I am the moon to your Earth's closet star
We push eachother to be great
But not to lose who we are
We never put each other down
We keep each other up to par
In this crazy game that we call love
You did just fine without me
And I was okay before you
But there is something about you that I seen
As you saw inside me
You are my friend
My lover
And in the end
I know I will that I will be okay witout you
But I grateful that I do have you here with me
To teach me this lesson
Setting my mind free
Because you did this for me
You did more than anyone that could do
For me
This is why I love you

im tired of trying
im tired of being okay in your eyes
the terror
the screaming agony
they're going to come out
darling, i hope your ready
for you're gonna meet
me
for who i really am

I can't stand the phrase,
"I'm fine." because
somewhere down the line
someone hurt you.

Fine is inadequate
to whatever you are feeling inside.
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