I am an actor
In a primetime show
In national tv
Love me or hate me
It is not easy, I know.

I am an accused
Being questioned
Being judged
Believe me or hate me
It is not easy, I know.

I am a butterfly
Newly emerged from a chrysalis
The world outside
Loves me or hates me
It is not easy, I know.

When will they accept
When will they change
When will their words
Be an embrace
It is not easy, I know.

Home is where I can curl up in bed
And recover from the world outside.
Home is where I can hear a calming timbre
And feel the chill of panic subside.

"Let's go home," take me home
I can't survive around all these people.
Can I go home, let's be home
What I can't predict is inherently lethal.

I want to ***** but I never ate.
I haven't breathed, I'll suffocate.
I'm hot and shaky, I'm shivering.
I'm gasping for air, I'm dying.

I forgot about reality, to be honest
Forgot how terrifying the world can be.
I forgot what it was to see others
I forgot what "living life," really means.

To live life, for me, is constant terror;
This city is made exclusively of rapists.
To live, for me, is to die before they catch me;
Every person is a murderer, a theif, an arsonist.

I was so comfortably wrapped in the cream of the crop
I forgot that other humans do live and exist.
I hit so many things on my long trip down
That seeing reality rationally is hit and miss.

I want to go home; where casual racism isn't an issue
As long as I don't open my door.
Where no one wants to hurt me, or scare me
In my little kingdom beneath the first floor.

I want to go home where I know what will scare me
Before I even pass it by.
I want to go home where the world doesn't remind me
About that knife, and death, and whys.

I want to go home. Back to the devil I know.
I am lost and unprepared.
I want to go home where I can live by not living
Locked in my room and so terribly scared.

I want to go home.

Technique of tortures
Cast iron pain
Crushing blow to the head
Insanity created picture