I lied when I said:
I don't like myself
I don't love anyone

for

I loved myself with you
I love you

then

Everything changed in an instant

Don't fear the pain,

use it,

keep it there,

beside you,

and maybe,

just maybe,

it will give you the words to say in a poem,

or the notes to play in a song,

for sometimes

it is flying with what hurts,

that gives us the colors to paint with.
                                                                                        Jon York    2018

They say time heals everything,
I don’t agree.

Time is forgetting.

Forgetting isn’t healing,
It’s forgetting.

On Purpose

I kissed you without permission—
In hopes that you would kiss me back.
I was open with you—
In hopes that you would be open with me.

I waited in the rain on that cold December night---
In hopes that you would pick me up.
I wrote you 365 letters every day for a year.
In hopes that you would write me back.

I loved you on purpose—
In hopes that you would love me back.
I fought with you on purpose—
Hoping you would fight back.

Three years have passed since our last phone call.
You have probably moved on—
Yet I sit in this empty room,
Wondering why I loved you on purpose.

Thorns.
You made.
Poked and prodded
You invaded my soul
As if I were a cesspool
of your worst nightmares.
And the sad thing is,
I let you.