I call you many times a day,
I check your phone,
I stand at the door waiting for you,
It's not jealousy my love,
It's the FEAR of  losing you.
23/9/2019

I still don't exist to you
Do I?

I am so sorry.

For every time I hurt you..

For every cruel word I’ve ever said to you..

For not seeing what you needed most..

For not being kind to you as much as everyone else..

For every tear you have wasted..

For every time I stepped on your heart..

For every time I didn’t believe in you..

For every time I didn’t listen to you.

I am so sorry.

For ripping you apart..

For destroying the beautiful things in you..

For always making you pay the price..

And I apologise for all the wrongdoings I caused you!

Forgive this fallible human that is you.

I am so sorry.

Can we talk about the word trigger
Because people are dumb
Teenagers say they are triggered when
They don’t want to write a paper
They miss a goal in soccer
They drop their phone
That is called being annoyed or disappointed
That is not triggered

A trigger is an emotional allergy
Some that triggers distress or panic
A trigger is loud noises cause a panic attack

I smile
I laugh often
slowly letting go of the hurt
and pain
you have caused
I have forgiven you
but my poetry...  still
needs me to hurt

just a little longer

I'm depressed
And need a hug

I think Jealousy is a shameful feeling

A sacred pact made with
an unknown demon

A bitter resentment of a past
complication

A mirrored messiah judging
all your thinking

Tuberculosis fit in the modern human

mind

and body stained with a dark
religion

Jealousy is a monsters making

Yet, perhaps,
the most Human of feelings

n.b.