I'm sorry for ignoring you
I'm sorry for not being there for you
I'm sorry for not 'being myself'
I'm sorry for bringing you down
I'm sorry for everything you don't understand
I'm sorry for everything I don't understand
I'm sorry for being belligerent
I'm sorry for annoying you
I'm sorry for bothering you
I'm sorry for being sorry
I'm sorry for always saying sorry
I'm sorry for everything here on out.

You were one of the few people I could talk to, you didn’t make me feel so crazy for feeling the way I do and did.
You walked next to me in life promising that you’d always be there.
But you left so abruptly that I can’t really wrap my head around it and I can’t go to you with how I’m feeling because it’s you that I lost. It’s you that’s making me feel these things.
So I will suffer in silence and just let you go, for good this time.
I can feel the invisible tears threatening to become real ones, and I just don’t know what to think right now..
I wish I didn’t let you in.

And another one leaves me
I cant keep anyone
Only those forced to be
Around me
One and two,three then four
One by one they leave me
I run after them but they slam the door

I get more damaged everyday
Now I know why others don't come
Leave everyone, stay away
I'm not worth it
If I could leave myself I would
I would stop being broken if I could
But I can't ....okay
I destroy things
I'm like a tornado...stay out of my way
Leave me before I hurt you
Leave me before I ruin you

If you came here for happy poems
Then u came to the wrong place
I cant pretend I'm happy
Smile and lie to your face
If you wanted to be lifted up
Move along i cant help you
I'm corrupted
If you came here for some self help
I don't have enough help to even help myself
If you came for a love story
You missed the mark
I cant find love
I guess I'm too dark
If you were seeking hope
That word is a unwelcome as a cuss word
I have to wash my mouth with soap
If you come with loneliness or pain in your heart
Dear friend read my poems and I'll read yours ,thats a start
If you come broken and bruised
Message me so i can share the burden
We can swap stories, feel less abused
If you message me
I'll cry with you , I'll comfort you
But don't think I will be inspirational or filled with hope
I will bring my true self
Together we will figure out how to cope

I planted a rose
In the corner of my garden
To give me some color
On a gray, rainy day

And each day, at dawn
I would water and **** it
Warding off any other flower
To keep its glory in bloom

Red as blood were its petals
And tender they were
Almost as soft
As the touch of a lover

And it called out to me
And it told me to take it
It didn’t belong in the ground
But in the finest vase

And I looked at it, hesitant
Its words a blur to me
But its color was hypnotic
And I couldn’t resist

And I reached out a hand
And almost immediately
Red droplets flowed
The thorns breaking my skin

Breaking my heart
And my digits hurt
And because of a rose
My reality flipped

I looked at it, panicked,
And I loosened my grip
And it dropped to the ground
Yet my hand remained red

I frantically washed it
Forcing soap in the wounds
And as much as it hurt
I tried to go on

And it lied there, In bloom
Daring to look at me
As if I betrayed it
As if It was bleeding too

It said if I loved it I would have held on
Despite the pain
And the blood
And the tears in my eye

I said that if it loved me
It would have wanted me to bloom
And yet I stood there
Bleeding for it