She shaved her head,
the kind
that rebels do
in the past.
She lit a cigarette,
and blew off
tiny clouds of smoke
that she believed
could conceal
her thoughts
privately.

The thoughts
that deprives her of her sleep.

She drank
liquors of despair
of what she described
of her first taste of tequilla
-bittersweet.

Yet
she managed to look up
, raised her camera.
She pointed,
aimed and shoot
for that moon
hanging in the sky.
The moon that witnessed
most of her sorrowful nights,
the moon
who saw every tear drops
that seem to reflect
a little sparkle
with the stars light.

She picked up some debris
of the shattered mirror
under the lamp post,
and studied her face.

Her stare went blank,
it doesn't anymore show
thousands of stories
of resentments,
of remorse
and trepidation
but
fear and hopelessness.

She's gone numb and cold.

And with a sigh,
she let out the words
slowly,
"My heart has cried a story that a writer couldn't even tell"

Maaga kong nilisan
ang lupang sakahan
Tinahak ang lugar
na maingay at magara,
ito pala ang Maynila.

‘di napigilan ng tirik na araw
ang aming pagkukumpulan.

Nagkamayan
kaming magkakabrad,
Simula na ng himagsikan.

Sariwa pa sa alala
kung pa’no
kami inagrabyado.
Itinulak.
Binugbog.
Tinakot.
Ginamitan ng dahas.

Sa plano ng gobyerno
kami pa rin pala ang talo.

Paano pa kami mabubuhay
kung wala ng lupang mapagtatamnan?

Akala ko sa bundok
o gubat lang may ahas
-yun ay sa akala ko lang pala.

Sa’ming magsasaka’y
Kumukulapot ang putik
Ngunit
sa inyong mga nakabarong,
animoy
walang duming nakabahid.

Sa inakala kong
tubig lang ang maaaring
idilig,
Dugo
pala nami’y pwede ring
pumatik.
Tila ba ang gobyerno’y namamanhid.

Nasaan na
ang pinangako nyong
libreng abono?

Ginawa nyo na bang pataba
sa mga bulsa nyo!?

Sa pagpunta
ng mga imperyalistang bansa,
Matutulugan
pa ba kaming mga dukha?
Makatatayo ako
sa aking pagkakadapa
Ngunit
ang bayan
kong nakalugmok ,
makakaahon pa kaya?

You were bruised,
you were keeping
the pain inside of you.
You acted like the happiest kid on earth,
you cracked jokes,
greet people
while you wore
that fake smile,
that fake
chagrin smile.
Yet
when you face the mirror
and stare at your own reflection,
you’re eyes
were telling you the truth.

You’ve showed them
that you were fine,
you lied
with your actions,
but
your eyes won’t play
with
your
gruesome show.

You were there
inside a train trapped in a moment
of confusion and despair -
with so many faces
that you don’t want to see.
in a busy station
where everyone was rushing chasing the time,
not knowing that time chases them.

You were keeping your balance,
leaning in that shabby pole,
in that nauseating situation
where escape will never be an option,

Weighing the pros and cons of your dreams,
together
with all the other passengers
who are facing
some of their life’s secret and silent battles.

You inhaled all those bitter thoughts of grief
and exhaled the air of fake relief,
wishing you’d exited the train of melancholy.

But
your heart was a liar,
you’ve pretended
that things will be the same
after all the sheet of ***** you’ve discovered.

When you’re puzzled
you don’t really know
how to explain what you feel or perhaps,
you really don’t know what to feel anymore.

It’s like
anxiety and despair
has enjoyed their company
with you.

You endured all those pain for years,
you suffered with your own fears
who have loved to visit you at night.
You befriended those sorrows,
you were even wrapped in their misery embrace.

And for a moment,
you thought you should have gone home.
You should have rested all these thoughts,
you should have played your cards properly.

You even made escape route
on your own chaos,
but that route can only be taken
when you had a cigarette on your right hand
and a cold bottle of beer on your left.

But,
crying yourself to sleep
won’t be enough solution,
You were so tired
of living with the real truth
that people’s
words
sting.

You looked from afar
and wondered
when will the time come
when you will no longer feel
being
left
out?

when will that morning come
to an end
when you will no longer see
tear stains on your pillows?

When will those nights end
when you would eat dinner
alone
in your own room?

the thing you opted to do  
when you started
to withdraw yourselves from people.

You tightened
your gripped on the train handle
and convinced yourself
that if ever someone asked if you were hurt,
you would tell them you weren’t.

but all of these thoughts vanished,
when you heard someone say
“Next station Pureza, ang susunod na istasyon ay Pureza”

I talked to Him
about you,
about us…
of how we’re facing the battles that I saw in my dreams.
I asked Him
to gear you up
and prepare you for the ‘tougher ones'.
Things may get difficult,
confusion will arise to the people
who may also get offended
or saddened with my sudden decisions.
I may get to face their criticisms
and avoid their inquisitive stares.
And answer the questions
that none of us chose to talk about.
I pleaded
that He may grant us the gift
of healing
and acceptance.