It's ok to smile once in a while
it can sometimes make you laugh
it kind of just feels good to do it
It's ok to think of life as a joke in these moments
because you need a good joke to laugh
at
this
****

i've been drinking a lot these days to try and flush out the part of you that's left inside of me

it's not that i don't want you there

it's just that having you there is making my heart itch and no matter how much i try to scratch it, it doesn't go away

i guess i'm hoping that drinking will numb the burning sensation but when it's 3:01am and all i can think of is you, nothing could comfort me quite like your presence

love is as indescribable as your beauty and misery is deep-rooted in your system and like the essence of you pumping through my veins, it just doesn't go away

and i guess i get you because love is hard and if only i could spark and ignite a fire inside your lungs and smoke would convulse out of your mouth in the shape of a heart and you'd never have to say "i love you" because it'd have said it all

if only i could show you that there's no one on this earth who deserves to experience love more than you; i'd paint it in tiny brushstrokes in your eyes so you could see the rawness and fragility

it's a bit like a flower; it grows stronger the more you nurture it but you have to plant it and give it a chance to bud

death is the only thing that lasts, it's the only constant and when time is gone i want you to be my only constant

take everything from me and envelope me with an insanity that feasts off the warmth of your fingertips and the proximity of your lips to mine

you're a leech and you've ****** everything out of me and i feel myself thriving off the thoughts of you floating like sailboats in my mind

i wish there was a tsunami to get rid of you

i wish there was a cure for this sea sickness i feel at the mention of your name

if there was i'm convinced i'd take it but i've never heard a more mellifluous sound

you're a spiral and i'm a circle and we were never meant to fit together but for two shapes so opposite, we've never worked so well

and now i'm drowning again (drinking and drowning)

leave soon,
i can't get used to this itch

it's 4 am and I'm really drunk right now and I almost texted you for the first time in almost 5 months saying that we met 3 years ago in the next few weeks and that I can still remember every single thing that happened that day from you smiling at me to me stumbling over some rocks and you catching me. but I really hope this new girl loves you like I did (do) and I hope one day you realize that you threw away absolutely everything for a girl that only wants you for what you can do in the sheets.

with you again.
but, when i left you,
i felt everything (and nothing) all at once
and now i
can't
       stop
             touching you
whenever i get the chance and kissing you passionately (something i forgot about) and crying at the thought of you touching other girls.
i never thought i'd feel in love with you again
but i do
and i am
and i can't believe it's over.