Sometimes it's like no time has passed since she showed up in my life.
To imagine that I would fall victim to her mesmerizing spell...Again.
To think I was convinced she would be the answer to all of my problems.
To think I fooled myself into thinking I could handle her storm, not to lose control.
How could I have been so blind?
A wolf in sheep's clothing.
My Siren in the form of a drug, a foil, a needle.
Everything I loved and everything I hate.
Such an easy mistake.
An easy escape.
A cowards answer.
Again I fell victim to her double edged sword.
Left to pick up and rebuild from the ruble, left after her storm.
He promised her
Gave her dreams of happiness
A world unknown to her
He left her only with darkness
He Promised her
Made her feel like she could float
On thin air alone
He left and she forgot how to fly
He Promised her
And when she was with him she was
Him and Her against the world
He left and the world crumbled
And she believed him
She learnt that his heart was as empty
As the promises he had bled.
I chase away memories of you with each hit from the pilo and with every shot I take at the bar.
Im growing tired of the way your face has constantly been haunting my thoughts.
Why is it so ******* hard to forget you?
You were the best of times and the worst of times in my life.
And I still ******* love you..
It had been years since I held you.
One night, a few simple hours together, and it all came flooding back.
Back to square one.
Its like im playing a game of shutes and ladders and I just can't win.
How can you just push it all back inside?
How can you pretend like it didn't happen, like I'm not even a ******* friend.
What the ****.
I understand that I make her uncomfortable, maybe even insecure.
But I am still human.
I do have a heart and feelings too.
A heart that will forever be meant for you, even if you forget.
There you are, off in bed with her,
And I am here..
Sitting alone, spilling my heart onto these blank pages.
A bottle of wine as my only friend.
So I'll take another drink, maybe even chug the glass to the end.
All in hopes that maybe this time, just maybe, I'll finally erase the memories we have shared.
Forget the feelings that you set free.
I love you, you ******* *******.
I always will...I always have.
Will you ever remember to love me?
-I just wish there was a chance to be "us" again
I stare at my own reflection,
Diving into the sadness that my eyes try to hide.
I see the ghost of who I used to be.
Who is going to numb this pain?
Who is going to help me hide?
I watch myself fake a smile,
I could almost convince myself that it was sincere.
Still tracing my scars,
Each memory replaying like silent films in my head.
The walls are closing in.
Baby, I need you.
Make my heart smile.
Make the light inside me shine.
I need you to wake up the butterflies.
I'm starting to forget what it feels like.
Help me feel loved.
Like I matter.
Don't let me slip again.
Bring me home.
Take me to where all my fears disappear.