I need the pain to go away
No drugs and self harm can take it away
No medication numbs it
I didn't know what would calm my mind
Or slow my heartbeat
Once I started thinking about my death
I started to get addicted to the thought
I started to get high off the ways I could die
The feeling of relief knowing it could be over feels good
Overdosing myself with my suicide thoughts
Going in and out of consciousness
To the point I can’t tell from reality between my imagination
It feels too good to be true
This is why I love to sleep
It feels like I’m dead
Dreaming of what I want to come true
Wishing to stay asleep
Suicides thoughts are my drugs...I need it to keep me standing
But I dont want to be an addict
Probably one day I wouldn’t need to worry about waking up
Maybe my dream will come true
Maybe...my dream will be my reality

Hey, you know that girl that always jumped around
And she always made people laugh,she was the class clown
That girl that always checked up on everyone
Shes was a fighter, she never gives up
The one that puts others before herself
And the one that always cared about how people felt
She always laughed at everything
And even though she knew she was bad but she just loved to sing
The girl that liked to do everything
She doesn't brag about it, she says nothing
She loves to laugh and smile
And she was so wild
She saw beauty in everything and everyone
Everybody thinks she so fun
She never stood still,she just loves to run
The one that loves to help
People went to her with their problems because she knew how they felt


Yeah you know that girl?
Did you ever know the real her
The girl that always felt miserable to come home
The one that always cried in her dark room alone
She's the one with the cuts on her arms that she lied about
She thought we were blind, that we wouldn't find out
We also didn't realize when she started to look different
None of us seem to bother to ask or listen
Yeah, you didn't know she had an other side to her
She was so down on herself, she felt like she didn't have self worth
Bothered to look at herself in the mirror
Drinking herself away so her mind can get clearer
So insecure about herself, she felt fat
In the bathroom she would always get anxiety attacks
She's only worried about making other people happy, she wanted to be happy but she couldn't
They thought she wouldn't
She would slice the pain away
She felt alone and just wanted to be ok

Bet you didn't know that
I bet you didn't know this either

You know that girl? She wasn't in school today
She said she was coming today, well she actually went away
The girl that always said she was alright
But if you looked deeper into her eyes that was all a lie
Yeah, you know that girl, she committed suicide last night

Which mask do i choose today
The one that smiles and hides the pain
The one that shows that i'm in vain
The one with the laughing eyes
The one that never ever cries
Which mask do i choose today
The one with a smiling face
The one that always takes my place
The one that never shows a frown
The one that usually wears the crown
Which mask do i choose today
The one that hides my fears
The one that clears my tears
I'm tired of lying
These tears I've been crying
Are proof of the sadness
The madness
And the pain
Yet i choose a mask everyday
No mask is the same

Second -hand smoke

it doesn’t bother me

anymore.

After all both of my parents

smoke

smoked

smoke

******.

I could name

so many people that I know

walking around with packs

of cancer sticks

in their back pockets.

All the people that

I have

walked with

behind

careful not the breathe too deeply.

All the people that

I have

talked with

kept quiet

inhaling and exhaling

in perfectly murderous synchronization

I want to *** a smoke

cancer stick

like you used to smoke

swallow their lighters

little booklets of matches

burn apart from the inside out

drowning in my own blood

She is beautiful
she walks with poise
she speaks with elegance
she sees with eyes full of pain
she listens though she is never heard
her skin is as rich as chocolate
her hair is like wool
her back is scared from the knives in your hands
her feet are cut from the miles she walks
her legs are weak from running to get away from your words
But
she walks with poise
she speaks with elegance
her skin is exquisite
her hair is curly
this woman thats been to the deepest parts of
The Devils Palace
is beautiful
She is "A Work Of Art"