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1.4k · Oct 2015
My reflection..
Lost hopes Oct 2015
I used too feel whole
Bowl after bowl
I'd watch my life each day
Just vaporize
Or go up in smoke
I gag and I choke
I sleep and I puke
When's it enough
I made out twice
It wasn't by fluke
Once to coke the other too ice
It wasn't till near death I realized
I need to wake up
And stop acting victimized
Too my surprise
*I get too see another day
936 · Aug 2015
Damaged Dreams
Lost hopes Aug 2015
I'm not actually here
I'm self destructive and angry
I write cuz words wont ever betray me
So don't try and slay me
We're all mortal men - nothing to fear
So listen up
I want you too hear
I'm dead inside
Locked in a cage or a cell
I can't decide
My mind unwinds or gets twisted up
I'm confused it's hard to tell
I almost fell
Went stumbling
I'm wobbling
I'm going home I'm fucken done
Peace ✌
785 · Aug 2015
Trapped on another planet
Lost hopes Aug 2015
I can no longer hide
I been in your basement my whole life
I wanna know outside
I want the cold air to cut through me like a knife
Why must you lock me up ?
Only time I see you
Is when I look under the door
I don't know what to do
I cant take this anymore
I'm breaking out of this prison you've trapped me in
I'll roam the streets
I'll dive into alleys
No one will know I'm even around
Not like they knew before
After awhile I'm surprised
I never knew I crash landed on a place as beautiful as this
Where did I go?
How far from home have I gone ?
It's no wonder I feel like I don't belong
I can see these creatures from here
How do they warlk ?
How do they tarlk ?
How do they have to be so loud ?
And why do most clutter in a crowd?
Some answers I guess I'll never know
But for now
Let's
       Just
             Go
                  Home
679 · Aug 2015
I wanna get high
Lost hopes Aug 2015
I wanna get high
That's for sure
The pressure is on
Weight is heavy
And could easily be lifted
A simple plunge
A simple pinch
I'll feel loved and gifted
It's bad how much I miss it
But my life is a mission
And it can't be lost to addiction
Just gotta survive this extra friction
And instead of just flippin
I need to learn to listen
669 · Aug 2015
Can't face it :(
Lost hopes Aug 2015
I miss your touch
I miss your eyes
I miss the way we used to smile
I smoke my ****
Just too help forget its been awhile
What I wouldnt do to be beside you
Inside you
But clearly you got other **** too do
I realized you replaced me
Im not able to compete with technology
One day I hope you actually love me
Actually miss me
And actually need me
Until than Ill remain lonely

               <3 I love you more than my words can say
I know its too late but its the truth.
626 · Oct 2015
Living Lesson
Lost hopes Oct 2015
It doesn't matter if your winning when your living
Or if you **** around with life that you've been given
Just know your souls on a mission
Either it's in intermission strung out with addiction
Or its heading in the right direction  

Now I'm not a preacher or a reverend
But take it from a personal lesson
This isn't a form of aggression to steal all your attention
Was wrote just for me to mention

"You are all important, stay strong and don't let up"
613 · Aug 2015
My day
Lost hopes Aug 2015
To the people who read this ..

For a peice of mind
You need too imagine a minute
A world without war
Without poverty
Without chaos
Without the brainwashing society
Do you get it
Maybe not on my level but one of some kind
Do you ever feel out of place ?
Like you don't belong
Like your not even apart of this race ?
Humans?
Beings with limbs so long
What the **** are they anyway
A parasite as some would say
A loser with the words I type
And the thoughts I have
596 · Aug 2015
In my death
Lost hopes Aug 2015
It used to be you that id need
But
Its only my demons you wanna feed
I'm on my knees
Begging please
I wish I could breathe
584 · Feb 2016
•~• jibberish
Lost hopes Feb 2016
My family
**** I wonder
Everyday if their ok
But look
It doesn't matter what I say
Cuz they don't understand
What it takes to spew this energy
All over this loose leaf, ohh my
Look at that guy
"He don't even know what he's saying"
"He must be going crazy"
But I been there done that
still got the ****
Oh whoa I forgot what I got there
575 · Aug 2015
Princess
Lost hopes Aug 2015
Princess
I need you
Why won't you answer
Princess
I miss you
Come home
I should never have left while things were a mess
I shoulda been the bigger one, the bigger man
But I was a coward and ditched my fam
Drugs
*****
Money
Seem to take a higher priority
Maybe I was blind
Maybe I was dumb
But I didn't/don't see
When I looked in the mirror I knew
I didn't know me
So how I could know you?
How could you love me?
Why did I love you?
Is this were it was suppose to go
Who knows I guess we'll never know
Princess
Where have you been ?
558 · Oct 2015
That feeling ..
Lost hopes Oct 2015
Remember the warmth of our body
No one else can tame and control me
Other than the ones I know as family
It's sad to see
The way you act is so empty
And it really ***** with things
That pain tho it really stings
I wish you fucken knew
The things I wouldn't Fucken do
526 · Aug 2015
Why you like this ?
Lost hopes Aug 2015
You make me strong
You make me weak
You make me feel like I belong
Even when the words you speak
You tell me of a life not so long (ago)
One I didn't know existed
One I couldn't remember
It all took over so quickly
I didn't know what to do
Or what you expected of me
But we hooked up mid December
Things were rocky things got rough
But I knew inside it was you I love
For you I'd just about go through (hell)
512 · Aug 2015
I was thinking
Lost hopes Aug 2015
I thought of you today
And you weren't there
And I'm prouder then ever
More concerned about the party life
The party style
Can't settle down
Cause you'd rather live so wild
It's been 4 months
I know it's not long but it's still awhile
I feel a lot better I even smile

I needed you today
And you aren't here
Almost don't wanna wake  
If it's another day like today
I miss our silly talks
And all the jokes we used to crack
I know this probably isn't what you wanna hear
But I'm done putting my life at stake
No more bowls
No more hot rails
No more time wasted thinking you care
No more doing self harm
Cuz I know in the end you aren't really there
479 · Aug 2015
Time
Lost hopes Aug 2015
Stop the fighting
And useless bickering
You say you love me
You say you want our family
But all you can do is judge
Call me names and make demands
And still expect me to budge
Telling me lies and orderin commands
While you been holding a grudge
I been trying to make things better
But it doesn't seem to get no better
I did everything you told me too
But no matter what it never seems to be enough for you

<3 no one will ever be able to take your place :'( I miss you
477 · Aug 2015
I can't and I won't
Lost hopes Aug 2015
I refuse to say goodbye
Specially when your all that matters
My mind without you scatters
And all I wanna do is cry
I've lived before without you
But that was before I met you
Now I'm just lost and don't know what to do :(
I can't and I won't get over you
Just please tell me what it is I have to do

I miss the living **** out of you
                         And I love you I do ! :'(
At least I know there was a time you said "I love you too"  <3
475 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Lost hopes Oct 2015
I remember a time
When I would sleep just fine
Our bodies all in a twine
Got butterflies just saying youre mine
If there was a chance I could go back
I'd get it right
Just like the first time :(
412 · Aug 2015
Liar
Lost hopes Aug 2015
I lied
It wasn't big
But still I did :(
Why did I lie?
I don't know
We talked
You yelled
I made you cry
Because I lied
Why did I lie?
I don't know
But still I lied :(

— The End —