empty seas

empty seas Feb 2019

i’m so alone even the darkness doesn’t look at me

i stare
and i stare
my eyes are burning
but i can’t look away
from my safety
i can’t live in the moment
i’m so scared
i won’t admit it to anyone’s face but
i’m drowning in fear and loneliness
i have no good friends
people look at me as a conversation topic, not as a person
it might always be this way
and that’s what scares me the most

#alone #anxiety #lies #fear #afraid

empty seas Feb 2019

the morning only brings weight on my heart

some days i wonder why i get out of bed
my soul caves on itself
tangling into a tight ball
as if smaller means less harm
will come to it

i still get the urges
the want
to rip my skin and fat off my thighs
to change the landscape of my body
because i hate
and hate
myself

body positivity? haven’t heard of her

#hate #anxiety #selfhate #body #image

Feb 2019

ag

Broken Mirror

I broke too much
of myself
thinking someone
could fix me.

I should have not
turned myself
to pieces
in the first place.

Because no one
would ever keep
a broken mirror
in their pockets.

#poetry

empty seas Feb 2019

can you hear me?

i can't breathe
there's a crushing weight on my chest
pushing and squeezing all the life out of me

i feel so utterly alone and helpless
desperately trying to feel okay
be okay
but it's so hard
when i'm so alone
so alone

im so tired
i have so much homework to do but i can’t stop doing things that are familiar and easy

#alone #no #friends #anxiety #sad #tired

empty seas Feb 2019

“Why?”

people hurt
they take your heart in their hands and squeeze the life out of it
but why

why do they lie
why do they say things that make you question yourself again and again

is it because they’re miserable
do they like to see the insercurity bubble up on others’ faces
or they just want to see you upset

i’m so confused
what is your objective
what do you want from me

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#why #help #anxiety #hurt #heart #emotions