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I thought new hands on my skin
would burn
My skin is healthier than ever
I don't feel your fingerprints anymore
I’m barely a poet,
yet you’re still my muse.
I say it doesn’t hurt-
that my purpose is views.
Steps I take forward
toward moving along
make you more distant,
and that feels ******* wrong.

I know that you know and
it could never be the same.
I just have to figure out
how to remove ache from your name.
The letters, they hurt
when they sit side by side-
and to hear them out loud?
A blast to my mind.

Because I like to spiral,
to wonder and dream.
I erased our messages-
yet here you come on my screen.
You can’t give me an inch-
I will dream a whole mile.
I’ve been that way always,
since I was a child:
hoping and loving
and dreaming for better.
I hate accepting reality-
and this ****** weather.

I can romanticize rain
and thunder and storms,
pretend they can heal me,
make me accept new norms.
But I miss my lover,
so quiet, so sweet,
and leaving that love
drowning feels like defeat.
But it's not romantic, just fated design
And it's just a Wednesday spent acting perfectly fine
M*n
I am so sick of men
ruining
Love and lust
Promising
Devotion and Desire
Giving
******* and lies
Maybe I typed it so many times
It just couldn’t help
But come true
I will
Never
Be enough
My son does not understand why it is darker now
“But mom, three days ago at this time there was still sun!”

And I explain how, in our part of the world, we change our clocks for the benefit of using the most of our daylight

I do not tell him it is because we are slaves to time in the worst of ways

We spend mornings enjoying the sunrise together, and I count myself lucky that this time shift occurs

I do not tell him how I wish I could make it stop all together

“So is it 8? I’m staying up late?!”

I don’t bother to fight him, it’s the seventh times he’s asked the question, and I tousle his hair instead

Big brown eyes mischievously twinkle as he reaches for a hug, and jams his little fingers in my armpit painfully

“Tickle!!!” He shouts, rolling toward me and giggling.

I do not tell him that I would give all my hours to live in these moments with him
Today I lie in bed
Wondering if there will come a day,
when I will no longer shudder at your glance,
when my skin will no longer crawl
just at the sight of you
of you looking at me

See, I have this fear
that my skin
will always be soiled by your touch
that my lips
will always burn from your kiss
that my heart
will always hurt from your love
that my mind
will be always scarred from your words

See, I have this fear
that my next love will love me how you did
that my next love will hurt me how you did
that my next love will abuse me emotionally and verbally
how you did
how you made me lesser
how you took from me
and gave nothing in return

See, I have this fear.
But lately as I lay in my bed
I've begun to realize that one day
my skin will be fresh and new
and it will be skin you have never touched
that my lips will have peeled
and they will be lips you have never kissed
that my heart will have replaced the broken pieces
and it will never have been loved by you

See, I have this dream.
That one day I will be loved by a man
Who never thought of me
how you thought of me
Who will love me
how you never loved me
Who will kiss me
how you never kissed me

And that recovery will make me
A person you will have never known.
We were scraped hands
we were exhaustion showing through;
we were messy hair after naps all to prove
we loved how we lived
and we lived how we loved
but then - we grew up
and minutes turned to seconds,
and weeks turned to days
and soon enough there we were
grown ups, in a daze.

time moving faster than it ever did before
every day, suddenly a bore.
thinking more from the core
don't know how we ever swore
this world would never turn us stone
turn into all the things we say we won't
waiting to see if the bad would outweigh hope.

never thought being a grown up would be tough,
then we grew up and we've had enough.
No, no
Shh honey, it’s alright
I don’t wanna fight, don’t wanna do
Anything
But hold you and make all the scaries disappear

Yes, it’s fine
I know what it’s like to live inside
Your own head
Fighting
Tornados of chaos peeling at your
Sanity

Shh,
the world is big and we are small
But there is nothing to do
But hold each other
And face it
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