You change your bedtime
Your wake up time
Your job
Your hair cut, or color.

Your house,
Your room.

What you watch,
What you listen to.


All of the easily changeable things

But the thoughts aren't changing

You try fixing them by ignoring them,
That change didnt work.
You start changing physical things and emotional attachments;
That change didnt work.

How can I stop my mind from running me into the ground?

I cant alone.

C.k

They'll tell you that you mean the world,
But then turn around and treat you like a grain of sand.
They'll tell you,
That it will be over soon.
That things are changing and that you will be happy once again.
They'll tell you,
That they'll make time for you,
In just another minute.
They'll tell you,
That they don't like that certain lip color on you.
Or your favorite shoes that you spent a lot of money on.
They'll tell you,
That you can't hang out with your friends,
Just for them to leave with theirs an hour later.
They'll tell you,
They'd give anything to spend time with you,
Just to spend hours and days on end on a game.
They'll tell you,
That you're the best thing that's ever happened to them,
But leave you crying in bed alone when you're feeling your worst.

They'll tell you,
That you are not good enough for them
Or anyone for that matter.
They'll tell you,
That your family hates you and doesn't deserve your time.. and you'll listen.
Even though you know otherwise.

They'll tell you, that you're the toxic one.
When in all reality you're just the poisoned one.

Our hands touched for the first time
In what seemed like years,
You are a stranger to my heart.

You slipped your hand from my grasp,
Not feeling my heart aching for you

You shut my car door
One last kiss on my cheek
And sent me on my way.

I contemplated my life;
In my car
For four and a half hours.

Singing my heart out to the playlist
That I made for you
Confused
Lost

I had a sense of hope
But also a sense of nothingness

I want you to want me,
The way I want you.

But it's hard to tell that to someone who
Just said
"I can't be with you"

My head is a notebook filled with the remains of ripped out pages,
Torn to shreds,
Little to nothing left.
I walked in with a needle and thread;
But have you ever revived a dead person ?
But have you ever died?

Pages are ripped clean
No more jagged edges
Am I right

I walked the halls feeling whole
And since I've woken up
I haven't felt that again

Are you Ok? How are You?
Leave me alone
Take me back
The beep beep beep, faded to nothing.
I am outside of my body.

I see you.

It's cold here; but my hearts warm.

Let me stay.

"I'm actually kinda tired."
But I wasn't tired
I was hurting so bad
But I didn't want you to know
Just how bad you had wounded me
And just how much I couldn't let you go.
That I just lied to spare your feelings...
I actually couldn't sleep
C.k

It's such a wonderful feeling
To wake up next to you,
One arm still wrapped around me,
Your face still so limp and unaware
The sun shining in,
Only allowing you to astonish me more
With every inhale
And every exhale
The slightest of cheek kisses wakes you,
Your eyes flutter so softly awake;
And as you start to grin a little "good morning grin",
You don't even realize how much my heart feels for you.

C.k