I have never stood accused of a sunny disposition
yellow doesn't linger in my eyes
see the starkness of the darkness
glare at the plastered happiness
smirking

What gives this paint such power?
What warmth is mixed among the chemical reaction?

With in my mind I feel daisy meadows
burning in yellow
petals of white caught in the breeze
shivering stems of green

Banana skin skies
haloed in sunshine kisses
brighten the world
with a joyless disposition

In my room, the walls bleed the same
yellowy and rusty
I'm mocked by an optimistic face
reflecting in the shadow
of my yellow walls

Will the irony fade?

I'm out chasing my own dreams,
in a nowhere field woven in figments,
pieces of us, stitched at the seams.

Fading sunsets by the water
I find, I wander,
back to your ocean eyes.

The promises they whisper
as the tide eclipses, to twist the iris.
Hues caress the picture
reflecting ocean green

I left the candle wax to cry,
not wasting my own tears on emptiness
Blank space eats up all my comfort
too much space
too many hours, till morning

Sweet scents cling to cotton and pillows alike
venomous aromas you've left behind,
to suffocate my sleepless nights

The colors have left me too,
choosing the quickest exist.
Grey lingers the lone exile,
as black and white space defiles
our empty bed.

Sweet one, dear lost friend
you have moved to the sky, on a higher plain,
free of your darkest pains.
Nestled there, hugging the stars,
surrounded by colors you so foundly wore.

I wish we could have had more time,
time to laugh or share a pint.
But I know you're safe, settled in.
Dancing moonbeams and rocking out to the big bang

I know the grief will someday vanish.
Once time has healed our gaping wounds
the hole you've left will one day fill
with new and exciting thrills.

But when I hear a corn song,
or taste the bubble of a stella
I will think fondly of you and smile.
When a girl with curls of color crosses my path,
I'll turn and wonder if your her.
Maybe I'll yell "hey Ally Progar"
and she will stare like I'm crazy girl.

I want to thank you for the person you were,
for living life the way you want.
No reservations, with a giant heart
I wish you were here, and in some way you are,
never forgotten,
our shining Ally star.

A clockwork night
Me and the gang out for the old drunkin howl,
The glory of violence oh brothers,
oh bliss.
The beautiful swell of bones breaking on cement
With idle hands the quiver comes quick.
What is a man to do when he craves the ultraviolance.
When the viddy no longer gives such desires with stark clarity.
The old vino runs red, true dear brothers,
but the reddest river streams hot from flesh.
The glory of stripping for the old in out,
then ripping above the screams,
Hear the music,
like the strings above the violin swell.
Sweet Ludwig knows the potency.
The fun my brothers, the thrill
On a night like this, oh bliss
Gitty we walk the edge.

Two kinds of pain
One sears the skin, crawls to the bone
Another is a slow burning, melting the soul

When you feel the first, it shocks
Yanking at the mind
Learning fast, you avoid repeating a second time

The other pain you feel like a steadfast blow
Its harsh and gripping and your life tends to slow

If given the choice, I would ask
could you break all my bones,
tear out my eyes
or pelt me with stone
For the pain may be terrible,
but nothing compared
To the tear of the heart
or the weight of the world.