But then again

I initiate conversation
But you never reply

And every ring of the phone
I have expected someone else

But even if I knew it's not you
I can't stop this feeling of disappointment

Okay

So apparently

All the poems
These letters
These words

Hoping you would read them
Were all for naught

You were someone
I could go to
When I wanted to feel
Closest to my happy self

But she took my place
Occupying your attention
Giving you what I cannot give

And so I step back
And let you go where you want to go
But still hoping you would
Step aside and walk beside me

Talk to me
Like we used to before

I portray myself as a perfect friend
Though it hurts to keep it inside

I lift up my chin and smile so pleasant
My fingers tremble at my side

Change of plans in dozen
I don't want to lock you away

So I watch you walk with her
As I stroll a little bit behind

Out of sight and out of mind

I don't wanna go to school

Only in dreams
Are people nice
And care about how I feel

Only in dreams
Am I nice to myself
Because negativity stays away

Only in dreams
Can I be with you
Because reality is unrequited

But dreams
Are only dreams
In this nightmare
Of a reality

And I start this decade
Loving someone

Knowing I will face
The inevitable heartbreak
Later on