The letter that tore my heart,
a bleeding envelope held my gaze
Opening it, I gasped. Red!
The world blasted into nothingness
All life ceased with it
For a time, there I hang,
the world swept from right under my feet.
A fall, a tumble against which
there  is nothing to hold on to
It can not happen again.
Not once.

She was sent by god
In the age of the Neanderthal
She was frozen on anunnaki spacecraft
In mine soul she was unthawed!!!

Last night was the worst I've ever felt
Honestly the first time my heart has ever melt
Like I told you the little things you do make you amazing
I would do anything for you, even risk my life try saving
We spent the whole day on the beach, us three
Then you went home, me and her not knowing that you were trying to end your misery;
We smiled back, hugged and said our goodbyes
Still unaware that this might be our final time.

Then I got a text saying 'This is it. I'm sorry' as I walked through my door
As I thought about what you meant my heart hit the floor
I texted back in a hurry, giving you all the reasons you should stay; one of them Being me
Hoping you would listen and just pray: we're made a promise for eternity.

You told me that I didn't need you, but we both know you're the reason that I'm still strong
I didn't want to let go cause where you were headed was not where you belonged
My mind overflowed with thoughts on why is this happening and if you're okay...
I just couldn't think of me living 'happily" day by day
Without you here to say "Keep your head up, I love you. Things will be okay."

We're we inspiration to each other
We were always together.. There wasn't one without the other
This was written in pink because it's her favorite color
I had no clue what I would do without her...

The night gets colder
I'm thinking it's over
Crying to myself cause I no longer have a shoulder.... To cry on.
No one left I can rely on.

The morning after
All I could hear is your laughter
Which was disturbed by a call from a number I couldn't recognize
I remember saying "hello" as tears came to my eyes
It was you telling me that you're okay
I was speechless.. In my mind thanking God that he heard what I had to say..

Looking back on that text like it was a nightmare
Not knowing what to do and who to call because I was scared
All of this that happened, I wish it was pretend
But this is unforgettable...


The night I almost lost my best friend.

i feel a pain called depression, not sadness.

with sadness you feel as though something will help you get past the emotion.
You feel like you need to purge your mind of this feeling

with depression you know nothing can pull from its invasive magnetism.
nothing will ever save your mind as it eats itself away.
with depression *you feel nothing